Noak's Ark

[tim1950]

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United
States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
over-populated and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark
and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the Ark
before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard
.....
but no ark.

"Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed.

I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the
need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the
neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the
height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a
decision. Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted
for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions,
to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea
would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem : There's a ban on cutting local trees
in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists
that I needed the wood to save the owls. But no go!

When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group.
They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As
well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel
and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that: I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an
environmental impact study on your proposed flood. Then to top that, they
want me to bury all the waste materials six feet under ( You know what they
mean ) and cover it with dirt. Now that takes the cake. I told them there
wont be any dirt to work with.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission :

On how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

Also, the trades unions say : I can't use my sons. They insist I have to
hire only Union workers with Ark building experience.

To make matters worse, the IRS : Have seized all my assets, claiming I'm
trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to finish
this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched
across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, You're not going to destroy
the world?".

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
_________________

[dugie6551]

... I think !!!

[Oz]

[Damien]

Recent repost...why didnt u go ahead and close it Oz?

[KustmAce]

Repost, and an oppurtunity to waste one more tiny bit of bandwidth...w00t! go me.

Closed.

[Oz]

Originally Posted by Damien

Recent repost...why didnt u go ahead and close it Oz?

There's always someone who hasn't seen it. And if you just tell them all the time, they soon learn.

Easy.