Zero Hour

[Spyke^]

Was watching TV last night and on the History Channel was a program that I have seen a few times called Zero Hour.

They take an hour out of big events ( 9/11 for instance ) and do a documentry on it.
They use real footage where possible and redo the rest.

Last night it was about the Columbine School shooting by the two students (Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold).

Even though I had heard most of this stuff before as I was watching the show it made me feel...I can't really put it into words.

Shocked isn't quite right even though I was shocked at some places, scared, angry that these guys could murder so many innocents and just generally freaked out.
There was parts where I noticed that I wasn't breathing and my heart was pounding.

There was even some parts where I found that I could relate to how isolated they felt and the anger that goes along with it.
Notice that I said "relate" not condone as I would NEVER condone the slaughter of those kids. Kill yourself, fine, do what you gotta do but don't take out anyone with you.

I think that most of us at one time or another have felt left out or trodden upon, put down or made fun of and we all know the hurt and anger that goes along with it.


They showed some parts of the videos that they made and talked about the journal writings that Eric made.
"I hate you people for leaving me out of so many fun things." As with the videos he made, in his writings he excused his family of blame in what he was planning to do. "It’s my fault! Not my parents, not my brothers, not my friends, not my favorite bands, not computer games, not the media, it’s mine." In another entry he wrote, "I’m full of hate and I love it."

How fucked up is that?

One exchange that really stuck with me was when they were in the library basically shooting whoever they felt like and they come upon one student under a desk ( who was interviewed in the show and who talked about this in his own words ) and Eric yelled at him " Identify yourself"!
"It's John". "John Savage?" Dylan asks him. "Yeah, Hi Dylan what are you up to?" " Oh not much, just killing people"......

Man, I've never felt such a cold chill run down my spine as I did at that moment.

In the back of my head as I'm writing this I'm wondering if someone here knows someone was was involved, hell with all of the members someone here could have been there, and if so I apoligize if I have upset you or brought back bad memories.

It was never my intention to hurt anyone or to "glorify" what these kids did.
This show, the topic, the images and sounds..all of it really affected me and I just felt that I had to put it into words and get it out of me as there isn't many people here at work who would understand.