Great To Be A Guy

[Raz_Kaz]

Reasons it's great to be a guy:

- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

- Movie nudity is virtually always female.

- A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.

- You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.

- Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

- You can open all your own jars.

- Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained
weight.

- Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.

- When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at
every shot of somebody crying.

- All your orgasms are real.

- You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere
you go.

- You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

- Your last name stays put.

- You can leave the hotel bed unmade.

- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

- Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.

- Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

- Wedding plans take care of themselves.

- If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can
still be your friend.

- You don't have to shave below your neck.

- None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.

- You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.

- If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.

- You can write your name in the snow.

- Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.

- Chocolate is just another snack.

- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

- Flowers fix everything.

- You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

- Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.

- You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

- Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a
room.

- You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

- You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

- You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without
ever thinking "He must be mad at me".

- The world is your urinal.

- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

- One mood, all the time

- You never have to drive on to another gas station because this
one's just too skeevy.

- You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing.

- Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

- You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch
adjustment.

- Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75.

- You don't care if someone's talking about you behind you back.

- With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's
population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

- You don't mooch off others' desserts.

- If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

- The remote control is yours and yours alone.

- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

- You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a
littlegift.

- Bachelor parties whomp butt over bridal showers.

- You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

- You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

- You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the
bathroom.

- If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't
tell your other friends you've changed.

- Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

- You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw
it."

- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you
just might become lifelong buddies.

- Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice
anything different?"

Things that suck about being a guy:

- The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000.

- External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs.

- Even if you get your head caught in an industrial wood
chipper, you're not allowed to cry.

[EclipseRST]

Nice!

[RickwithaTbird]

the first 300 were awesome, but the last few hundred were just okay. It was still worth the hour and a half it took to read em... pretty funny.

[clawhammer]

I like the bad things about being a guy. First time I've heard those

[KustmAce]

So true.

[imtheoneandonlyD]

lol, some of those were awesome. but overall funny shit

['97ventureowner]

Good to see there's more great things than things that suck about being a guy.

[KaotiKCamaro5]

being a guy is awesome.. lol

[crayzayjay]

Good list, but it missed one thing out:

- No period

[-Davo]

haha, he did hint it; one mood, all the time.

that list kicked ass, and all so true!

[93rollaracer]

beautiful...that's going on the wall next to the rules

[SeXy_AnGeL]

sorta makes me want to be a guy...

[Integragrl]

Me and my girl Tasha have this thing called "Penis for a day" .. don't worry its not as twisted as it sounds .. we just bs about what we would do if we were a guy for one day.. and one of the top ten things we'd so is stand up and pee everywhere.. just cuz its something we can't do now.. atleast we can't do it w/ the aim and precision you all can..

[ghostrx7]

ya, where great aren't we!i dont even want to say what id do if i was a girl for a day!!!!!

[ghostguy6]

Originally Posted by SeXy_AnGeL

sorta makes me want to be a guy...

Why? Your like the perfect woman