Louisiana Tourist Attraction and other bad jokes...

[tonioseven]

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town.
They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"

The guy leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrr-gerrrrr Kiiinnnggg."




The Three Nuns

Three nuns die, but they all have to answer one question to get into heaven. The first nun is asked who the first man on earth was. She replies, ''Oh that's easy, Adam!'' Lights flash and the pearly gates open.

The second nun is asked ''Who was the first woman on earth?'' she says, ''That's easy, Eve!'' Lights flash and the gates open.

The Third nun is asked, ''What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?'' The nun is puzzled and can't figure it out, so she says, ''That's a hard one.'' Lights flash up and the pearly gates open.





What A Smart Gorilla

A gorilla walks into a bar. The bartender comes up to him and asks him what he wants. 'A scotch on the rocks, please.' He then lays a 10 dollar bill on the bar. The bartender takes the money and goes to fix his drink. He thinks to himself, 'Hey, this is a gorilla, he doesn't know about the prices of drinks.' and takes 15 cents back. He sets the drink and the money on the bar. Another bartender asks the first bartender about the gorilla and he says: 'Yeah, he's nice. Go talk to him.' The second bartender goes to the gorilla and strikes up a conversation. 'Hey there. Ya know, we don't get too many gorillas in here.' 'Well, at $9.85 a drink, I ain't coming back.'





Screwed, For Sure

Once a lady wanted to leave the U.S.A. but couldn't get a visa. One day, she met a man who told her not to dispair.
"l'll let you sneak aboard my captain's ship and take you to France, but you have to screw me every time I bring you food, okay?"

She accepted, and for about three months the guy brought her food and water and then she screwed him. This went on for about 3 months, at which point she was discovered by the captain. The captain asked what she was doing and she said a man was taking her to France if she screwed him every time he brought her food.

The captain replied, "He sure is screwing you - this is the New York Ferry."

[YogsVR4]

Maybe I just need beer, but damn if those weren't great

[Raz_Kaz]

First and last were great. The other 2 were ok

[speediva]

I've said it once, and I'll say it again: Tonio, you da MAN!

[Oz]

[GritMaster]

The nun one rocked :P

[Damien]

I dıdnt even pay attentıon to the fact ıt was Tonı. I should have guessed...

[clawhammer]

Originally Posted by Raz_Kaz

First and last were great. The other 2 were ok

[tonioseven]

Thanks folk!! I'm here all week!! Ba-bump-bump!!

[YogsVR4]

Originally Posted by tonioseven

Thanks folk!! I'm here all week!! Ba-bump-bump!!

AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! Go get some ribs or something












Said because I know you're in Cinci and I happen to love those Montgomery ribs and I haven't had them in a few years

[chacal]

I like the gorila.

[tonioseven]

Originally Posted by YogsVR4

AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! Go get some ribs or something












Said because I know you're in Cinci and I happen to love those Montgomery ribs and I haven't had them in a few years

I'm having some next week!!

[SniperX13]

ok, now damnit tonio, your making me miss back home, skyline... gold star... larosa's pizza.... Dave and Busters, and now Montgomery Inn....

[Jimster]

Damn Tonio, what would my slow mornings be without you?