I love funny newspaper headlines

[sivic02]

Give the Palestinians a homeland - Ottawa
Toronto Star, 31 July 1982

Babies are what the mother eats
The Times-Herald, 7 November 1984

Newspaper to recieve seven awards
The Sentinel Ledger, 7 April 1983

Never Withold Herpes Infection From Loved One
Alburquerque Journal, 26 December 1984

Kampala - A hand grenade exploded on board a passenger train killing a Uganda Army soldier who was toying with it and two civilian passengers.
The Times, 27 March 1982

Here's How You Can Lick Doberman's Leg Sores

How to combat that feeling of helplessness with illegal drugs
The Royal Gazette, 9 May 1985

Kicking Baby Considered to Be Healthy

Obscene snow sculptures built by two fraternities Chi Psi and Delta Upsilon, had around townspeople as well as the administration.
Addison Independent, 15 March 1979

Woman off to jail for sex with boys
The Record, 23 October 1984


Infertility unlikely to be passed on
Montgomery Advertiser

Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link
Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995

Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us
Holland Sentinal


Teenage girls often have babies fathered by men
The Sunday Oregonian

Low Wages Said Key to Poverty
Newsday

Man shoots neighbor with machete
The Miami Herald

Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes
The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia

Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows
The New York Times

Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies
The Los Angeles Times

Scientists see quakes in L.A. future
The Oregonian

Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear
Journal of Commerce

Lack of brains hinders research
The Columbus Dispatch

Include your Children when Baking Cookies

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Farmer Bill Dies in House

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again

British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

Eye Drops off Shelf

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Miners Refuse to Work After Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

Yeah, thats a lot....

[chacal]

Hard to pick a favourite...

Maybe "If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While".

[Raz_Kaz]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant


HA! That was good

[taranaki]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

*RAISES HAND IN FAVOUR*

That'll learn the little bastards!

[2Slow4U_Noob]

I liked
"Prostitutes Appeal to Pope"

hahahah

[Oz]

[clawhammer]

Teenage girls often have babies fathered by men, didn't know there was an alternative, but that headline suggest so.

[Gotti]

My favorite: "I FORGOTTI" - New York Times

When John Gotti beat up some guy and the guy was gunna charge him until he found out who he was. Then he got on the stand and said he couldnt remember who attacked him.

I love that headline lol "I FORGOTTI"

[93rollaracer]

Pulled this one straight off of cnnsi.com's homepage...

"'Cocks QB among six facing theft charges"

found it mildly amusing

[ec437]

I saw an article once with a massive headline that proclaimed, word for word, "WMD'S FOUND IN IRAQ!"
The last sentence in the article was, word for word, "...to date, no such WMD's have been found."


wow, way to sensationalize.


PS why am I not surprised that at least 2 of the headlines in the original post came from my local newspaper?

['97ventureowner]

My local paper had a headline which made me laugh, so I sent it on to Jay Leno for his Headlines segment on his show. It read " Fight Breaks Out at Local Stop The Violence Rally"