(for the bad kids) "good" drunk stories??

[JD@af]

Well, pulling out all the stops (since nobody knows who I am, what's harm?), here's a little story involving me drinking too much this past May.

I'm down in the Cancun area of Mexico. I am down there for my brother's wedding, and I am the best man. We're at one of those all-inclusive resorts, you know, where everything is free, so you can sit around getting plastered all day and not have to pay a red cent to do it. So I am at the beach, I'm having a few drinks, and I just went a little over that edge. I'm sitting there with my cousin, her husband (who is a buddy of mine), my God brother, and I realize that I have just gone over that edge, and I'm drunk. So my cousin takes me to her room before dinner (shortly after my "realization"), and gives me some Visine to get rid of the red in my eyes. And she tried so hard to help me, but it was just too late.

So I see my God father at dinner, and I'm talking to him, and I'm trying to play it straight, but I blow it, and I say to him "you know.. I'm just so drunk." And he didn't know it until I said anything. Well, it was all downhill from there.

Of course, the entire wedding party goes to the bar after dinner. The difference is that for them they went to have a couple drinks and try to perhaps get a good buzz going on. But me, already buzzing my ass off, goes for "the prolonged buzz." So I throw back a few more, and the stupidity really flies. I start talking about how I'd like a larger... (let's call it a ding dong), and next thing I know, I'm walking around in front of my brothers in-laws to be with a cantaloupe in my pants. Embarassing as this must have been, I was too looped to care.

So then a few minuts later, I'm hanging out with a friend that I have known since the day she was born. We're both loopy, and as she tries to hug me, I lean forward and kiss her right between her breasts in her low-cut shirt. Now, understand that this girl is like a sister to me, and that I really would not touch her (sexually) with a ten-foot pole. My brother comes over to me, and asks me if I know what I just did. I said "no, what?" He tells me, and I say "I did?"

Well, so now I'm getting the maid of honor, who kind of likes me, a little jealous. So, she grabs me by the hand and says "we've gotta talk." So she takes me to the beach. And all of a sudden she taking off her clothes like they're on fire. And me being the drunk fool that I am I follow suit and run after her into the ocean. So we're in the ocean, swimming and playing around just having fun. Then, we get out and start misbehaving (heh heh heh) on a chase lounge on the beach. Now the beauty of this is that many times sober, I have pushed her away, as her sister and my brother are to be married (and were the day after the evening being described here), but this time my defenses are just shot. And the happy-couple-to-be just happen to come strolling along to see these two "strange people" getting it on right on the beach. And my sister-in-law even thought she saw one guy and TWO girls (yeah, I wish).

Well, that's about the best of it. It was an awesome night, and some of my best work. And one of the really great things about it is that I wasn't even hung over the next day for the wedding. I did my best man's speech well and everything! Right on!

Anyway, other good stories, please feel free to share

[porsche911]

........................ I haven't been on AF in a while, now I come back and this is the first post I choose to look at
HOHOHO
Go JD !!!
I'm not ready to tell my stories yet...
but anyone who is, go ahead

[LostBoyScout]

Bahahahahaha good story man, good story

New Years was pretty normal for me but a good buddy of mine got totally sloshed and, uh, "did" one of the girls there (a friend of mine's cousin), who was pretty young (he was only 3 years older so no biggie really) but even better had not uh, done that sort of thing before - and he doesn't remember any of it at all (he couldn't figure out why his pants had dirtstains on them.. well they went outside to do their thing and he doesn't even remember going outside)

The girl liked him after too. Poor girl... (she wasn't exactly great looking so my buddy said "no way" in the nicest way possible)


Me, I haven't got many good stories of being drunk, since I don't really drink anymore (only casually) but I have woken up in the hallway of the house down the street of the party I was at before (no I didn't know who's house it was, and no they were not impressed that I was in their hallway as they didn't know me either)

Been arrested for eluding the cops while drunk too :o

[JD@af]

All right, well here's another tale, this one from my college years archive. There's this Saturday night when NOTHING (and I mean nothing) is going on. I'm still in my freshman year, and in the state of Maine, if you are underage, you are not going to be able to go to a store and buy alcohol. It is as simple as that.

Anyway, so it's like 10:30, and I am dying to party or do something. I hear through a connection that there is a keg in Pierce House, the football house. Now, usually I don't go in there (especially being a freshman) unless I am going with a buddy on the football team, but this particular evening, I am on a mission to get some beer. What's a little risk of bodily harm for the cause of partying anyway?!?!

So I go. I get there, and I simply just stake out the keg, down five 9 ounce cups inside of a half hour. Feeling like I've undergone some adequate consumption, I leave to go enjoy my buzz elsewhere.

I head back over to my house, and a couple buddies of mine are playing a Doom Death Match (all the rage on college campuses in 1995 to 1996). I decide I wanted to help my friend kill the bad guys, so I picked up his can of mousse and start spraying it all over his monitor. He of course freaks out, starts yelling offensive comments at my drunk ass to beat it. What the Hell did I know? I really thought I would help kill the bad guys.

Now I decide I'm going to go see my buddy that lives on the other side of campus in Adams, a large dorm. I stagger over there (my tolerance really sucked ass that night), and am actually pretty tired and ready to pass out by the time I get over to his place. He's in his room hanging out with someone (can't remember who - and I got rid of them pretty quickly anyway), and I come flying into his room and give him the old drunk hug. He has two beds in his room, so he basically lays me down and tells me "sleep it off you wine-o." Drunk, I usually don't put up much of a fight when someone tells me to do something (especially in my early days of freshman alcoholic bliss), so I promptly go to bed.

The interesting part of all this comes when I get up to take a leak a couple hours later. Adams happens to be a dorm that is symmetrical, in that there is a middle section with two identical wings. I go to the bathroom, and on the way back, apparently I walked back to wrong wing. I find the door to my friend's room closed, and surprisingly locked. I start knocking and doing that whole frustrated drunk thing, you know: "let me in, you sloppy bastard" and such. A girl opens the door a crack, refuses to let me in, and then slams the door on one of my fingers when I try to push my way in. She locks it again.

Now, as a drunk, thinking I am standing outside my friend's room, this is a confusing and shocking situation. I pound on the door every couple minutes, with interludes of standing around dazed and confused. Finally, it becomes apparent that I am not going to get in, so instead of walking all the back to my room late on a Saturday night in March in my boxer shorts and a t-shirt, I decide fuck it, I'm going to sleep right outside my friend's door. Wasn't the most comfortable place to get some rest, but when you are sleeping off alcohol, that becomes more of a detail than a requirement for actually being able to sleep.

A couple hours later, some mysterious guy comes out of the room, and stands there puzzled for a moment before stepping over me to make his way to the bathroom. I too am puzzled, but things make so little sense at this point, I just shrug and try to go back to sleep. On his way back to the room, the guy steps back over me and says "you should really find a better place to sleep." I say "yeah, sure" and go back to sleep.

Finally at like 8:00 in the morning, I am awake enough to get kind of pissed about a bad joke that has gone on for too long. I stand up, and as I am about to pound the door again, I notice the room number: 401. My friend lives in 434. Very embarrassed, I high-talied it back over to my friend's room. He wakes and sits up, and asks where the Hell I was all that time. Long story...

[LostBoyScout]

Bahahaha... I got to go drink more man

Good story, I enjoyed reading that

[Dimex]

Alcohol is cool, man!

[JD@af]

And the sad thing is that, in fact, I have many, many more. I hate to be such a proponent of drinking, but dammit, I have had so many good times (well into the hundreds.. thousands?) while doing it. Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

[gang$tarr]

I'm too lazy ta read all your stories

I love drinkin, I'll never stop, PARTY PARTY PARTY!!

[KennyH]

I drink alot with my friends- and have some really funny stories- but this one just came to my head:


A couple months ago- (i throw kegs alot- i am only in highschool) i was throwing a keg we were all taking turns doing keg stands- finally when it came to my turn, i was so plastered that i lost grip of the keg, fell, and hit myself unconcsious on the tap

[gang$tarr]

hahahaha
good job kenny

[DaFoo]

My friend Zach was at a party and went to take a piss. He went in the bathroom and the toilet was in the corner like this:

These equal walls: l
This is the bowl: O

The bathroom: (don't mind the periods, I just used them to keep the drawings out, if you don't do that, it messes up the pic when it's posted)

......................____
......................l O l
............______l....l_____

(the toilet was in a recess of the wall)

Well...to stabalize himself, he put out his right arm to lean up against the wall. Well, in reality, the bathroom was shaped like this:



......................___________
......................l O
............______l


There was no wall beside him! He just fell on the floor and pissed a rainbow shape all the wall.

[gang$tarr]

ahhhhahaha good stuff

can't live wit out alcohol

[Scott85]

21st B-day
My friends throw a party for me at my place(stripper, fridge filled top to bottom with beer), i made the mistake of mixing root beer schnaps(sp?), tequila, Jack Daniels & beer all night. I pass out in my bed and wake up around 3am. As i open my eyes, the food i ate earlier in the night war staring back at me(this was the only time i've ever puked from getting drunk). I get up(still buzzing pretty good) and walk out to my living room in my underwear, theres still some people hanging out, and say "somebody puked in my bed". In the morning when i finally get my bearings straight, there was puke all over my room, parts on the walls, etc, it was nasty.

One night after a keg party, we went go-karting after some more Jello shots(Everclear), that was fun.We figured we'd be safe there, instead of on the road. THats it for now

[Lizard King]

A friend of mine used to get badly drunk all the time. One time he was unconsious and we drew all over the bastard and sprayed whipped cream down his pants.

Another time he was even worse. He was unconsious (again) and making the weirdest noises I've ever heard come from a human being. These weird, agonizing moans, me and another guy who was there were in hysterics. Then he started puking and we feared for his well-being. We drew on him again.

[verboom]

Yeah, being the sober one around some drunks can be fun. I've had a guy pass out when he was hanging around with my friends and I, so we drew chalk lines all around him and took pictures. He still doesn't believe it was him, he thinks we photoshopped the pictures.