Top 8 morons of 2004

[clawhammer]

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT!?!?!?
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!".

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun... Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE......
.....Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!!!

[-Josh-]

haha, those were pretty good. The illinois one doesn't surprise me at all either.

[jon@af]

Originally Posted by clawhammer

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

Now THAT is some funny shit

[ridestreet84]

all of those are great, the second one has to be my favorite

[publicenemy137]

I don't believe the last one, no one can be stupid enough or spaced out enough to realize that a trailer was tied to the boat

[YogsVR4]

Seen these come through a few times over the years.

[clawhammer]

http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/isabella.htm if you don't think that boat one is true

[Andydg]

Originally Posted by publicenemy137

I don't believe the last one, no one can be stupid enough or spaced out enough to realize that a trailer was tied to the boat

Oh I dunno...there's some really dumb people in the world and when it's their first time doing something like that they might just be that stupid.

[nialusa]

Those were very good, funnyest thing I`ve read in ages. Nice one.

[dugie6551]

I like #2 also.

[imtheoneandonlyD]

i vote number 2 also.

[fredjacksonsan]

Hey, maybe I could work for AT&T for 9 months. Sounds like a good retirement plan to me. Where can I sign up?


#2's very good though.

[Oz]

[youngvr4]

mine is 5, to me that was the dumbest of them all

that actually made me laugh out loud for awhile.

i beleive all of it, ive heard the dumbest of the dumb in my lifetime.

i told this chick "you know bruce lee is buried here in seattle" she says "bruce lee's dead?"

[taranaki]

Top 8 morons of 2002
Top 8 morons of 2003

Originally Posted by clawhammer

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2004?......
Jonh Walter is the retired president and COO of AT&T Corporation, a position he held from 1996 to 1997.........