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#1
10-22-2004, 08:04 PM
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How to request an early grave
A wife was making breakfast (of fried eggs) for her husband one morning.
Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen screaming.... "Careful...CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. Too MANY! Turn them over. Turn them over NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! Where are we going to get more BUTTER!? Great! Now they're going to STICK! Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You never listen to me when you're cooking! NEVER! Turn them over! Hurry UP! Are you crazy? Have you lost your MIND? Don't forget to salt them. You KNOW you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. The SALT! Use the SALT!" His wife just stared at him and said... "What in the fuck is the matter with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like to have you sitting next to me when I'm driving."  TS out (getting cemetary plot)
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#3
10-22-2004, 08:26 PM
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Re: How to request an early grave
holy shit i gotta try that next time my mom cooks breakfast
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 Proud member of DAMM: Drunks Against Mad Mothers Quote:
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#4
10-22-2004, 10:03 PM
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Re: How to request an early grave
Hilarious, when my mom drives with me she keeps pushing the floor like she has pedals on the passenger side so i brake late and blame her for not braking earlier.
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#5
10-22-2004, 11:00 PM
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Oh man, when I started driving, my mother always had one arm out against the dash board and I was like... "What are you doing??" And she said.."Its for support." And I said, "physical or emotional support?"
 "Besides, your disreguarding the job of the 'seatbelt' and your 'support' is blocking my view out the passenger side window..." "Not good for supporting my GOOD DRIVING!!"
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#6
10-22-2004, 11:23 PM
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Re: Re: How to request an early grave
Quote:
 lmfao
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 - Its Micheal Jackson! and his black again!!! YAY!!!!!!LandoAWD - My rolemodel!! why? because his a bad ass! beache..! and he will kick ur A$$!!  Originally Posted by Delerious93integra and if DSM's are so great.. then why doesn't everyone own one? ^^^ WOW!!! ^^^
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#7
10-23-2004, 12:24 AM
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^^i second that motion^^
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Proud member of DAMM: Drunks Against Mad Mothers Quote:
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#8
10-23-2004, 10:38 AM
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Re: How to request an early grave
I hate it when the gf screams while I'm driving. What I like to do is just let go of everything in the midst of driving and tell her to yell at the car to turn left so we don't hit the object in front of us
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#9
10-23-2004, 10:48 AM
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Re: How to request an early grave
^I guess I should thank the lord I dont have a gf yet. But every girl who has driven in my car has never complained how I drive. WHEW!
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#10
10-23-2004, 03:27 PM
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Re: Re: How to request an early grave
Quote:
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 SoStAsSaId: and the flight attendant is cute... if i was a lesbian, i'd join the mile high club  <---call this number
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#11
10-23-2004, 04:50 PM
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Re: How to request an early grave
My dad likes to put his foot on teh floor almost to signal me to stop, much like partizan. Must try that braking later thing though
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#12
10-23-2004, 04:55 PM
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Re: How to request an early grave
my dad's thing is grab the handle above the door when I go around corners. I don't even know what he would do if I powerslid one while he was with me
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SoStAsSaId: and the flight attendant is cute... if i was a lesbian, i'd join the mile high club <---call this number
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#13
10-23-2004, 05:36 PM
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Re: Re: How to request an early grave
Quote:
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#14
10-23-2004, 06:41 PM
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Re: How to request an early grave
yeah I should take the handles out and THEN do some powersliding!
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SoStAsSaId: and the flight attendant is cute... if i was a lesbian, i'd join the mile high club <---call this number
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#15
10-23-2004, 09:54 PM
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Re: Re: Re: How to request an early grave
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Just kiddin My dad tells me I accelerate too fast, so what I like to do is go balls out, aka 4k in first gear, and listen to the 350 roar. Gets him a lil nervous.
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