Fuc't up Chit

[Jet-Lee]

I'm movin out....

I've been livin with my Fiancee's family for the last 2 1/2 years...IT'S BEEN HELL!!! I've been givin this household $1000/month, goin into a "household account" that pays rent, bills, credit cards, car repairs, groceries, etc. I've gotten JACK SHIT out of this account. A, I stress A, ONE, car repair on my car. My credit cards have been paid late 3 times, and fuck everything else, no benefit to me 'cept what electric and water I use from 7-7:30am and 8-11pm (otherwise I'm not home). I get treated like a damned 16 year old, by EVERYONE 'cept my fiancee, including the 18 year old little asshole...
I'd had enough shit, then last night, her mom blows up at me, so I run off in my car, for an hour, my car, I'm 20, I'll do what I want, when I want. I get back at about 11:30, and put up with shit from her lover (her mom's gay) then head for bed. Get woken up at 1am, FUCKIN 1 IN THE MORNING...I HAVE TO WORK PEOPLE!!! Anyways, her Dad (he visits the other two siblings) asks where I went, I said "Driving", cause thats what I did for an hour...Then her mom starts screaming at me about how irresponsible I am, and how I'm not fit to be an adult. I supported the ENTIRE HOUSE (6 people) for 6 months on my income alone, cause the other two adults were too fuckin lazy to get jobs. AND IM IRRESPONSIBLE?! I let her have it. After I proved her wrong on EVERY point, she still struggles, screaming at me about SHIT, not bullshit, cause there was no bull; not dumb shit, cause it was beyond dumb; not stupid shit, cause this was WAAY beyond stupid; just SHIT. So I just said "I'm through, I'm movin out" got up and left. She screamed at me "Well I'm not gonna support this!" (referencing me and her daughter getting married) and I looked back and said, "Ok."
Oooh, she was pissed. The was lots of screaming and yelling all night long up to that point, about who was responsible for Ambers (my fiancee) birth control pills (not for the protection, but mostly help control hormone levels), how it should be me (yeah, I know, it usually is), but this time she told Amber she'd take care of it, therefore it's HER responsibility now...that's waht sparked the whole thing.
She just kept blowing up at everybody all night long while I was out driving around (from what I'm told).

[/rant]

Anyways, I'm movin out on my own finally, gettin my own apartment, but I'm pretty afraid of what it's gonna do to Amber and how she does in school.
So I'm pretty much asking your guys' advice now on this one. What do I do about Amber and her school? Cause at this point, her mom won't have all the money to pay for her school, so I'll help with that, after all we're still gettin married. But Amber doesn't want to hurt one persons feelings over the other by going to one residence or the other. Is there anything I can tell her? It doesn't matter to me, cause I'll still drive to see her at school, but theres the issue of sleeping together (literally, in each others arms, you know, like people in love do).
I'm movin out, no question, but how can I help amber stay focused on school, and keep a lot of the impact from this from getting to her?
Anyways, thanks in advance guys, and gals, for your advice on this.

-Lee-

[Rbraczyk]

I understand how tensions run high in families. BELIEVE me. Even though you're not living with her, If you still want to be with her you still have to show affection to her, or are you trying to break up with her but keep the letdown at a minimum? To keep her focused, just tell her that everything will be ok. Other than that I don't know what to tell you.

[Jet-Lee]

I don't wanna break up, just keep as much stress from getting to her as possible, so it doesn't affect her schoolwork.

[-Josh-]

You need to explain to her that you still love her and always will, even though you're moving out. And also explain to her that she should try and be closer to her mom than ever so that the family doesn't drift apart from each other, because without family you have nothing. As much as you would hate it, also try and get a neutral ground with her mom, sit her down one of these nights and try and work out your differences, because if you're gonna marry her daughter you need to learn to get along somehow. If you're going to help pay for her tuition that would be a good starting point in a conversation and explain to the mom how much you love her daughter, and whether she likes it or not she's going to have to accept the two of you. Try and help her with her studies as much as you can, i think that would relieve some of the stress of maintaining a social and family life, while going to school, even if you have to drive down there or talk about it over the phone. Good luck on this one, the best thing you can do right now is just try to mend everything that's been broken, dont try and take to many drastic steps right now.

[Rbraczyk]

Keep in touch, and keep her focused. Talk to her, let her open up to you if theres anything on her mind. Be the person she can release to. That should keep her on track. Good luck.

[aloharocky]

Move out on your own! Punish them! LOL

[Jet-Lee]

Thanks Rbra and Josh.....Rocky, shutup.

[Shortbus]

Well one thing for sure it sounds like you're doing the right thing by moving out of there. I don't see how anyone should have to put up with that kind of atmosphere.

Good luck to you.

[aloharocky]

Originally Posted by Shortbus@AF

Well one thing for sure it sounds like you're doing the right thing by moving out of there. I don't see how anyone should have to put up with that kind of atmosphere.

Good luck to you.

I couldn't agree more. Don't stay where you aren't appreciated. Move out on your own where you can pay your own bills, the hell with paying theirs. After all, you're twenty years old and should have been on your own two years ago, but they obviously used you. Now you can really fix their wagon.

[Probegt/civic]

you might not wanna hear from me or my advice, but you did the same on my post so here it is First off how in hell are you supporting 6 people who treat you like shit? are you fucking stupid or is your bitch playing you? is she even worth it? also i dont know if i understood, but are you paying for her education? if yes then did you fucking adopt this soon to be family of yours at the fucking trailer park or somethin? man i suggest you take your bitch, pack her up and drop her onto ither your piece ford escort or your maxima and move her in with you and dont forget to leave the rest of the family behind this time!

[-Josh-]

Yeah, that advice definately goes down as some of the worst ever... Good job, way to make a person feel better.

[Jet-Lee]

hehe...Thanks Probe, I can understand what your sayin, but in better terms. Good thinkin, it's what I'm tryin, but movin out just isn't really simple. Especially when your goin out on your own for the first time, it takes money that I don't have a whole lot of. I'm savin now, and the moment I've got enough, my ass is gone...

[aloharocky]

Then you have to swallow your pride, kiss their ass, and beg to stay. Do it quickly, before they figure out that they don't really need some guy living off them, screwing their daughter, and taking up space. You think your being there, taking advantage of them really makes their lives better?

[Jet-Lee]

I don't have to beg to stay. They beg me to stay. I bring in half the income to damn household, and every little bit of it gets used! I'm not taking advantage of SHIT living there! They're taking advantage of the fact that ALL my fuckin money goes into the damned house so I can't afford to get on my own! I don't need to swallow ANY FUCKING PRIDE, nor kiss ANYONES ass, nor beg to FUCKING stay! They do need this guy in the house, until the other cunt gets up off her ass and gets a fucking job. THEN I will be HAPPY to leave, or even better, get kicked out!

Rocky's post just pissed me off too much. I wish you could see my situation for what it fucking is, not what it looks like through typing. It would take me DAYS to lay it out in words. So just STFU!

[/rant] (for now)

[aloharocky]

I'm seeing it through their eyes, not yours. You are essentially renting their daughter's body, and they don't like it. If you were serious about her you would be married and on your own, so they consider her a lost cause, and after you dump her she'll be used goods. That's where the hostility is coming from. It's not about money. I am not just trying to piss you off, nor am I going to stroke your ego. You're just young and don't get it.