Lame Thursday Jokes

Mannheim 80 · #1 10-07-2004, 12:26 PM

It was a hot sunny day and a fly was resting in a branch above a river, it thought to itself, if I go down 3 inches, the mist from the river will cool me down...
a fish was in the river, thinking , if that fly comes down 3 inches, I can jump out and eat it....
a bear was in the trees close to the river, thinking, if that fly goes down 3 inches, the fish will jump out of the water and I can eat it....
meanwhile, a hunter was sitting up on the bank eating a cheese sandwich thinking, if that fly goes down 3 inches, the fish will jump out of the water, the bear will come out from behind the trees and I can shoot him and have a decent lunch.....
you might think this is enough activity beside a river but there is more!!!
a mouse is in the undergrowth thinking to himself, if that fly goes down 3 inches, the fish will eat the fly, the bear will grab the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich, and I can eat the cheese....
a cat was in the bushes thinking, if that fly goes down 3 inches, the fish will eat the fly, the bear will grab the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear and drop his sandwich, the mouse will eat the cheese and I can eat the mouse....
suddenly, the fly could stand the heat no more and went down 3 inches, the fish jumped out to eat it, the bear grabbed the fish, the hunter shot the bear and dropped his cheese sandwich, the mouse grabbed the cheese and the cat dived for the mouse....
the mouse ducked and the cat flew in the river and drowned!!!!

The moral of the story is, if a fly goes down 3 inches, there is a pussy in trouble somewhere...
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A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh
blood, and parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and started hassling him about where he got it. He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep.

However, they persisted until he finally gave in. "Okay, follow
me," he said as he flapped out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees. Finally he slowed and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked. "YES, YES,
YES!" all the other bats screamed in a frenzy. "GOOD," shouted
the bat, "BECAUSE I FUCKING DIDN'T."