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| COMPLETELY off-topic Talk about anything other than cars. But you can't be mad and angry in this forum! |
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#1
10-01-2004, 05:43 AM
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If men were in charge
Some old ones, some new ones
If men ran the world.... Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it. Birth control would come in ale or lager. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day too. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month. Garbage would take itself out. Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history. The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle". Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps". Tanks would be far easier to rent. Two words..."Ally McNaked". When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in: Cop: "You know how fast you were going?" You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place." Cop: "Nice one, That's $10.00 off". People would never talk about how fresh they felt. Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again. 16 Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation. It would perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas. Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said "You're #1!". When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you". The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO. "Sorry I'm late, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness. At the end of the workday a whistle would blow and you would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone. Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards. 
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#2
10-01-2004, 08:43 AM
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Re: If men were in charge
those are all awesome
"Sorry I'm late, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness. ...wish that one actually worked
__________________
 Proud member of DAMM: Drunks Against Mad Mothers Quote:
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#3
10-01-2004, 08:45 AM
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Re: If men were in charge
the regis and kelly thing is a good idea... i'd pay $50 to see that on PPV instead of some dumb boxing match
__________________
 Level of Completion in GT4: 98.8% What's left: Missions 23, 34 <--Too hard My Boring Blog http://prideisasin.blogspot.com/
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#4
10-01-2004, 09:20 AM
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Re: Re: If men were in charge
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#5
10-01-2004, 09:22 AM
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Re: If men were in charge
loved it! i only disagree with Ally McNaked, i think she is wayyy too skinny.
__________________
Co-Founder of AF V-Card Club 1999 Ford Mustang Cobra: Cobra R rims, Magnaflow CB. "no way man...i saw an LS1 fight godzilla and the LS1 beat godzilla and it looked in the air and was like what do you think of that god and god was like bring it bitch so they fought and the LS1 beat god now the LS1 is god because its the greatest thing ever."
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#8
10-01-2004, 10:59 AM
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Re: Re: If men were in charge
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#9
10-01-2004, 11:54 AM
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Re: If men were in charge
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__________________
89 Toyota Corolla with 4agze conversion, zzzzzzzzzz is that a front mount!  Kill list - Commodore VR SS 5L, 2004 Subaru WRX, every model v6 out there pretty much, nissan 180sx with ca18det, mr2 n/a
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#11
10-02-2004, 02:52 AM
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"When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out
__________________
2002 Pontiac Trans Am WS6 - Mods: K&N Air Filter, Corsa Cat-back exhaust system, 20% tint on rear and side windows 
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#13
10-02-2004, 10:51 AM
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Re: If men were in charge
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#14
10-02-2004, 01:17 PM
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Re: If men were in charge
You would Raz
 And reduction on speeding tickets, man, they'd be paying me money if I got one! 
__________________
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#15
10-03-2004, 06:47 PM
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Re: If men were in charge
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haha, you wish 
__________________
2004 SRT-4 1998 GMC 2500 1996 Eagle Talon TSi AWD Turbo 1993 Eagle Talon TSi AWD Turbo 1985 Nissan 300ZX Turbo 1990 Nissan 300ZX Twin Turbo  Past Z Cars Crew   
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