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| COMPLETELY off-topic Talk about anything other than cars. But you can't be mad and angry in this forum! |
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#1
02-10-2002, 10:50 PM
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What if people bought cars like they buy
The car companies don't have help lines
for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers, imagine if they did..... Helpline: General Motors Helpline, how can I help you? Customer: I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened! Helpline: Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it? Customer: What's an ignition? Helpline: It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine. Customer: Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all these technical terms to use my car. Helpline: Toyota Helpline, how can I help you? Customer: My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere! Helpline: Is the gas tank empty? Customer: Huh? How do I know?" Helpline: There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and markings of 'E' and 'F'. Where is the needle pointing? Customer: It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean? Helpline: It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself or pay the vendor to install it for you. Customer: What? I paid $18,000 for this car! And your telling me I to keep buying more components? This is outrageous! I want a car that comes with everything built in! Helpline: Ford Helpline, how can I help you? Customer: Your cars suck! Helpline: What's wrong?" Customer: It crashed, that's what's wrong! Helpline: What were you doing? Customer: Well I wanted to go faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor, It worked for a while and then it when off the road at a corner and crashed and it won't start now! Helpline: It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it? Customer: I expect you to send me one of the latest versions that doesn't crash! Helpline: BMW Helpline, how can I help you? Customer: Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, power door locks, power seats, power.." Helpline: Well,.. thanks for buying one of our top of line cars. So how can I help you? Customer: Well, how do I work it? Helpline: Do you know how to drive? Customer: Do I know how to what? Helpline: Do you know how to drive? Customer: Look, I'm not a mechanic. I'm not even very technical. I just want to go places in my new car!
__________________
Wanna get high? Dont forget to Bring a Towel! Towlie is off the wang wang! Asshole Krew Member #004 We are 1337 RoXxoR and OWN JOO! 
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#2
02-11-2002, 12:42 AM
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Hehehe Good stuff Towlie
 :hehehe::hehehe::hehehe::hehehe:
__________________
Member of AF's Slide Squad (Member #04) Quote:
Neishlin Motors Soon to be my best friend 
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#4
02-11-2002, 07:29 PM
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haha, very funny. :hehehe: Now my stomach hurts from chuckling!
__________________
My latest ride! 1998 Nissan Skyline R34 GT-t 
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#5
02-11-2002, 07:29 PM
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hehe.... nice stuff
 but you left out another possibility, the person buying the car not being satisfied and wanting a refund..... Salesman: sure, if you dont like it, just bring it back within 28 days and we'll give you a full refund!!! how cool would that be cheers, jay
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