Help Guys...

[Need4Speed0530]

Alright, finally I can vent.

I have been with my girl 1 year 4 months, were engaged. During the first six months of our relationship, she was very cool, we didn't argue much, when we did we could always talk it out, and she apologized when she was wrong. We were a lot more "active" as well. Right before we moved out together, she became less "active" with me, got a little uncomfortable whenever I touched her, which she NEVER did before. After we moved out, she got a lot more angry easier, we argued all the time, she didn't like when I tried to talk our problems out, she said I was lecturing. She got even more less active, like once every 2-3 weeks. We dont have any romantic times alone, when we "do get active", she tells me to hurry, she doesn't want it to be like an hour long. She doesn't apologize any more when she does something that upsets me. Ive tried to tell her that shes changed, and she says "She will work on it", she works on it for like 1 day, and actually acts like she used to, then the next day shes right back to being grumpy and distant. I love her to death, but sometimes because of how she acts, I question if she loves me as much as she used to. She says she loves me more than anything when I ask her though. Help me, I'm confused. No, I don't want to leave her. I just want to know if anyone else has had similiar experience, etc. Any opinions, etc. Thanks to anyone who helps!

[TexasF355F1]

Honestly, I'd avoid her. Don't call or even miss a call or two and call back later. If she sends you a text message wait a while to reply so it seems you're not waiting around for her. If you start acting differently maybe she'll start feeling worried like you are. Just my opinion.

[Need4Speed0530]

Thanks man, I actually thought about doing that, and have been a little bit. I didn't call her on my break like I normally did a few days ago. I came home and she was all worried. You do have a good point.

[91300zxtt]

just give some space, it seems like you are together too often

[landyacht]

I was with my X fiance for over 2 years. She was the same way. On top of that, she had no care of my feels and did things constantly to spite me. I'd try and talk to her and she'd say 'what about my feelings/needs?'.

Glad i got rid of that one!

Anyways, i suggest you lay on the line everything you've said here.

" This is how it was, this is what it is. I love you, but i can't deal with this. I understand it can't be cloud 9 all the time, but this crap can't go on. "

Do what TexasF355F1 suggested so she gets a taste of it before you give the speech. Basically, it comes down to 'do unto others as you would have done unto you'.

I hope this has been helpfull to you. I'd have ditched her, but that's just me and some lingering bitterness so never mind.

[MagicRat]

It may seem harsh, but this is the reason for courtship before marriage. Sometimes (often) dispite our best wishes and efforts, some couples just are not compatible in the long run.
I hope you can work things out, since it seems as if you really feel something special for her, but be prepared to call it quits. If it's going to happen, better it happen now, than in a few years in divorce court.

[driftu]

been there done man. congrats your married. it may just be the stress of having a live in bf. could also be doubts about the future you to have together. do you do dinner and a movie or stuff like that. she may be out saying the same sort of thing to her friends. try to give her a night out and make her feel special. failing that go what TexasF355F1 says. making your self unavilible may help.

[Need4Speed0530]

Well, right now things are tough. Were moving in a few weeks, and money is tight. But it has been like this for about 9 months. I try to treat her like a queen, I give her a massage almost every night, she has never went without, I try to get her things and take her out as much as I can. I have told her this before, she says she will work on it, and she does for like 1-7 days, and things will be great, then she slowly changes right back. Were getting married in 9 days... but I dont like her when she acts like this. I love her to death, I would honestly take a bullet for her. I would like to hear some more stories or experiences some other of you guys have had similiar to this, I'm hoping to find something out from one of you that I haven't tried. So far the first reply to this topic is the best, I havn't tried that 100% yet.

And also, she has never cheated on me or even been in the littlest bit unfaithful. I would never cheat on her to try and teach her a lesson. So if someone was going to say that, no need to.

[driftu]

like i said man been there. i just got out of a 4 years relationship. every time my ex acted like that it was stress related. you don't have much money. making it hard to live a full and complete life (in many perspectives). how old are you? and does she mention a baby alot. this all could be because she wants a kid but doesn't think it is time. causing a little depression. talk to her and don't except she doesn't know or i'll work on it as an answer. communictation is the corner stone of a good health relationship. if things don't improve then you may have to walk away. and i would put the wedding on hold till you do. divorce is an ugly thing that no one should have to go through.