cops have a sense of humor as well

[kittedb18bt]

1. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
out after you wear them awhile."

2. "Take your hands off the car again, Slick, and I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."

3. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

4. "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't
know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

5. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

6. "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

7. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket."

8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

9. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."

10. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."

11. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

12. "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but
now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

13. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

14. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't. Sign here."

15. "Just how big were those 2 beers?"

[YogsVR4]

Some of those were pretty good

[crayzayjay]

Originally Posted by kittedb18bt

8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."

[eversio11]

5. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

Now I'm afraid to use that excuse

And maybe I'm just incredibly slow, but I don't understand the pretty women one.

[BP2K2Max]

^ the cops telling the girl that she's not pretty enough to get out of the ticket.

[D[X]P]

Nice stuff. I havent read/heard these before. Thanks for the laugh.

[psychobadboy]

Haha...funny stuff.

[2Slow4U_Noob]

4. "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't
know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."


Hope I never have to hear that one!

[FireBball972]

wow, those are great !

[pikkagtr]

god for a few good laughs
i dont deny i know how fast i was drving
i simply state that i was picking up speed cause it was down hill
haha

[tazdev]

a guy I know.

The cop pulls him over and asks, "so what were you doing travelling at 190kmh"

to which the bloke replied, "slowing down"

[Oz]

[Raz_Kaz]

I like the Mickey Mouse one!

[jcz1987]

These were all pretty funny!