Wouldn't It Be Great

[Flatrater]

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR GEORGE W. BUSH OR JOHN
KERRY GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans:

As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since
congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in
Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces
from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to
begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists.. One list contains the names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some
of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's
nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of
both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money
toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.

On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will
hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the
earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal
now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia
for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France,
Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring
from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN
diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking
tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps
have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or
watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of
the finest chop shops in the world.

I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List # 2. Since we are likely
to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not
pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and
his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will
have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where
I am going to put em?

Yep, border security.

So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty ---
starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. It is time for America
to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.

Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the
planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America.

To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we
won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.

God bless America.

Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English,
thank a soldier.

[twospirits]

Damn, I was gonna say its the first time I agree with everything you said, but the part of "It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America." messed it up. Oh well 99.99 % I agree with can't be bad.

TS out

[Cbass]

Wow, way to sum up all the ignorant, uninformed misconceptions and myths that are popular in the US these days! Oh wait, you forgot the one about the US saving everyone in WW2.

Originally Posted by Flatrater

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR GEORGE W. BUSH OR JOHN
KERRY GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans:

As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since
congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in
Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces
from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to
begin the reckoning.

And wouldn't it be nice if there was no national debt? Or if the US didn't have a massive problem with poverty in it's inner cities? That's not going away any time soon, and neither is Iraq.

Originally Posted by Flatrater

Before me, I have two lists.. One list contains the names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some
of the countries listed there.

There is a very good reason that your first list is short, namely that the overwhelming majority of the world wanted to see some proof of US and British allegations before sending their citizens to die securing US interests in the middle east.

Originally Posted by Flatrater

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's
nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of
both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
Iraqi war.

How childish can you be? "You didn't help me hijack a country, so I won't give you any foreign aid!". Every western country contributed foreign aid, and expects nothing in return, why should the US be different?

Also, are you aware of exactly how much money the US spends on foreign aid? It's pathetic, $15 billion, of that $5 billion goes directly to Israel. $6 billion of the remaining $10 billion is actually government subsidy of arms sales to third world countries. Gee, that leaves $4 billion, or less than one third of the total ammount which actual goes to HELPING anyone. Also, it would take 10 years for the money saved by cutting foreign aid to equal what has been spent in Iraq already, and considering that the cost of the occupation is greater than $15 billion a year, the difference will only increase. Before you start reposting stupid shit like this, maybe you should actual consider the facts.

Originally Posted by Flatrater

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money
toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.

That's just great, considering that the US spending for humanitarian aid is miniscule compared to that of Canada, and my country is regarded as a stingy nation by European standards.

The $4 billion saved by this foolish ideal would not make a dent in the education, health care or social assistance problems which plague the US.

I will point out, there are few things more annoying to myself than the belief of the majority of Americans that somehow the US is incredibly generous to third world countries, yet never receives any thanks for it. I have already mentioned how in fact, the US is not that generous, but I should also mention the fact that the humanitarian contributions are usually weighted to support the governments the US favours. It is not so much a humanitarian effort as it is a political one.

Originally Posted by Flatrater

On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

Now it would have to be Kerry saying that, as Bush has already proven himself incompetent in cracking down on terrorism. Speaking of that, where's Bin Laden? Election time is coming, better pull him out of your ass, Georgie. You'll notice that France and China don't have major terrorism problems, maybe there is a reason for that.

Originally Posted by Flatrater

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal
now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too.

Brilliant, I don't know how Clinton and Bush could have failed at this so many times and not seen the light of your "Yo, boys" proposal. Think of how many lives could have been saved by those two words.

Originally Posted by Flatrater

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France,
Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring
from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN
diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking
tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps
have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or
watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of
the finest chop shops in the world.

Ah yes, severing relations with France, the country that won the war of indepence for the US, and has been one of the countries most stalwart allies for centuries, all because they weren't willing to tow the line on Iraq.

Germany, a former enemy and only an ally for five decades, but still a powerful economy and one of the driving forces in the European Union. Let's just stop talking to them, nothing could go wrong there! Not like this would be instigating another cold war, one that the US cannot afford to fight.

Russia, ah yes, Russia. Former superpower, which after recovering from the collapse of the USSR and years of incompetence and corrupt that Yeltsin brought, is becoming more powerful every day, and is making it's presence known in conflicts across the middle east and Asia. Let's go piss them off even more, that sounds like a good idea!

Originally Posted by Flatrater

I love New York.

Of course, can't forget the obligatory "I love NY" comment. Why not make the speech draped in the flag and standing in front of a picture of the WTC?

Originally Posted by Flatrater

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List # 2. Since we are likely
to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not
pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and
his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will
have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where
I am going to put em?

Yep, border security.

So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty ---
starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. It is time for America
to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.

Ah yes, Canada does nothing but spit in the eye of the USA. We sit here north of the border, just scheming about how we will confound and fight the US on every issue we can.

Canada is a country that doesn't go around starting wars. We send our soldiers to fight and die to protect the civilians of other countries, through peace keeping. We send a lot of them, and we send them into many nasty places that the US has refused to send their soldiers.

We do NOT pledge them to fight for the US whenever the whim strikes a President to invade another country on worthless pretenses. Get your head out of your ass.

NAFTA? Go ahead and see how many weeks the American economy can last without it. Also, note how the US has practiced illegal protectionist trade practices since day one with Canada and the US, and simply ties them up in the world trade courts for years with appeals. Know anything about the softwood lumber dispute? I didn't think so.

Originally Posted by Flatrater

Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the
planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America.

At that I can only roll my eyes. Maybe some of those massive subsidies to corporations, and huge tax cuts could have done that. One year of those costs more than the last hundred years of foreign aid combined.

Originally Posted by Flatrater

To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.

God bless America.

Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English,
thank a soldier.

The rest of that doesn't even warrant a reply.

[YogsVR4]

Someone has a bug up their ass
----------------------------------------------------



I was whole heartedly agree with

It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America.

There are several things on that list I whole heatedly support. Troops on the boarder. Leave NATO. Anything that gets us closer to being out of the UN.

[twospirits]

I was being sarcastic with my post above, but what is it with hating soccer?

[SniperX13]

Originally Posted by twospirits

I was being sarcastic with my post above, but what is it with hating soccer?

I see nothing wrong with soccer... any sport that makes a girl so happy, that she just has to rip her shirt off..... is totally supported by me

[YogsVR4]

Originally Posted by twospirits

I was being sarcastic with my post above, but what is it with hating soccer?

Somebody hates soccer?

[twospirits]

It was mentioned near the end of the first post above and I've seen it mentioned elsewhere in AF. I was just curious as to why, but thats for another thread.

[Flatrater]

Cbass

On the subject of humanitarian aid.

http://www.usaid.gov/
http://usembassy.state.gov/posts/pk1/wwwh00120801.html
If you want do a goggle!

You are in Canada not in the US why do you care about our national debt?

"
As of July 2003, the Government of Canada had contributed the new funds to the following:

• $15 million to support the operational budget of the Afghan Transitional Administration through the World Bank's Afghanistan Reconstruction Trust Fund.
• $5 million to the United Nation's Mine Action Program for Afghanistan to support de-mining activities and to prevent injuries caused by land mines and other unexploded objects.
• $1.2 million to support civil-military cooperation projects. This will support small development initiatives that contribute to better living conditions for local Afghan communities in areas patrolled by the International Security Assistance Force.

Looks like Canad is giving away tons of money!

I'm sorry I must of missed that in history class. I didn't know that only the French soliders fought in the war for America's indepence, I guess no Americans died during that war. BTW that was the only war France ever could be accussed of winning.

Who do you think is driving the Russian economy? The American companies.If it wasn't for other countries in Russia it would go belly up.

ANd what is so wrong with keeping my tax dollars in America? My money needs to help people in AMerica and not some other country that gives 2 shits about their people.

[Flatrater]

For a history of Canada's peace keeping which started in 1956 read here http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/cd...cekeeping.html

[taranaki]

Wouldn't it be nice?

only if everyone in America was a redneck.Then the rest of the world would be clammering to help set it up.The rest of the world can manage perfectly well without the kind of ignorant racists who create and distribute this cock-eyed garbage.

Thank God for the vast majority of normal civilised people in the States who don't buy into this kind of half-assed blame-the-rest-of-the-world racism dressed as patriotism.

God bless the true Americans,and fuck the retard that wrote that crap.

[RedLightning]

well i like it all pretty much except the "I love New York." (i guess im a redneck )

a europeans defenition of a true american=one who does not see through their bullshit, one who only contributes to them, and one who loves them and does their every bidding.

the reason that ppl from other countries think this is stupid is because it would force them to help out in the world.

oh i like this- It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America.

Originally Posted by taranaki

Wouldn't it be nice?

only if everyone in America was a redneck.Then the rest of the world would be clammering to help set it up.The rest of the world can manage perfectly well without the kind of ignorant racists who create and distribute this cock-eyed garbage.

Thank God for the vast majority of normal civilised people in the States who don't buy into this kind of half-assed blame-the-rest-of-the-world racism dressed as patriotism.

God bless the true Americans,and fuck the retard that wrote that crap.

"There are clearly a wide range of political opinions being displayed in this forum.Some you may agree with,some you may not.Please remember that holding a different opinion to the previous poster does not entitle you to make personal attacks on them.If you think that their argument is unsupported,feel free to say so,but don't abuse them.It's tedious, and won't be tolerated.The user guidelines of AF apply in this forum,,please keep within them."-taranaki

http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbul...uidelines.html

[Flatrater]

I really think its time for the US to solve its problems within its borders and stop meddling in other countries.

Isn't that what you have preached in the past? Isn't this topic a call to fix America's problems first and foremost. Why should we help end hunger in another country while we have hunger in America? Why should we worry about AIDS in another country while we have AIDS here? Why should we care about corrupt governments when you post repeatedly about how corrupt you think Bush is? Who cares who is killing who in another country while we have murders happening in the US? Shouldn't America's problems come first?

[Flatrater]

And I love New York since I was raised there! World cup soccer who cares!


This is about help those that help us. To me those people that help us should get the first crack at what we offer.

[taranaki]

Originally Posted by Um...Nameless Dork

"There are clearly a wide range of political opinions being displayed in this forum.Some you may agree with,some you may not.Please remember that holding a different opinion to the previous poster does not entitle you to make personal attacks on them.If you think that their argument is unsupported,feel free to say so,but don't abuse them.It's tedious, and won't be tolerated.The user guidelines of AF apply in this forum,,please keep within them."-taranaki

http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbul...uidelines.html

Nice of you to quote me,dork,but it's getting rather tedious trying to get it through to people like you that I am not in any way insulting you personally when I make a statement about your worthless president or fake patriots such as the author of this obnoxious piece of shit.I don't take it personally when you pour criticism on the worthy values that I admire such as pacifism, multi-nationalism and civilised behaviour in general,If you'd rather follow the wrong path,that's entirely your own business.

If you choose to get upset because I believe George Bush to be a worthless twat,that's a problem for you to deal with in your own way.Nobody is sticking the label on you.