Chicks :-(

iranintoavan · #1 08-01-2004, 10:18 PM

Ok, I have liked this girl for about a year now, she knows that. I have asked her out before but says she doesn't wanna have a boyfriend right now but is ok with me liking her and all cause were best friends. But like I guess she figures im over her cause she starts talking about this guy. Alright now get this, she now likes this guy that she doesn't know. Thats right, last summer she was at this fireman convention or something cause her dads a fireman and she met this guy there. (The kid lives 5 hours away) She talked to him like once, and hasnt seen him since. But now, she tells me all about him and says how great he is and how much she likes him. I have liked her for about a year, she knows that, and she now likes a guy she doesnt know. That makes me feel like shit, that I have tried for a year now and she just up and meets some kid once and likes him. This summer at the convention he didnt go but I guess he told his parents to get her email address so he could email her. So he has her email address cause she gave it to him but he hasnt emailed her yet. But I swear if he does and I get a hold of his screen name I will not only tell him to stay away from her, but if he ever emails her again that ill get my hacker friend to destroy his computer. Now I dont know if I will actually do this cause what if she finds out, she probably wouldnt be too happy that I tried to ruin something (if anything ever did happen). Ah, im pissed

MagicRat · #2 08-01-2004, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iranintoavan

........I wanted to smack her, ............... But I swear if he does and I get a hold of his screen name I will not only tell him to stay away from her, but if he ever emails her again that ill get my hacker friend to destroy his computer. ............ Ah, im pissed

Easy with the violent tendencies. This sucks and we have all been in this position, but don't turn into the "psycho - not- even-ex-boyfriend."
You became the male friend before you were the boyfriend.
Women don't want to date the familiar friend. They are attracted to the handsome mysterious stranger.
It's a tough rut to get out of. Try backing away for a bit. Play hard to get for a bit; say you are too busy doing your own interesting stuff to hang around with her as much.
Just my

korndogg · #3 08-01-2004, 10:40 PM

i agree with magicrat. create some space between the two of you. ive noticed that when you play hard to get they like you even more because most of the girls have to get what they want. and if they think that they cant have you then they will just try that much harder to get you. if that makes sense?

iranintoavan · #4 08-01-2004, 10:51 PM

Yeah, makes since, but kinda hard since were almost best friends. Plus I see her like 4 times a week and we always hang out then, but I guess I not hang out with her and hang out with the guys, btw which I haven't done in a while.

EighteenVisions · #5 08-01-2004, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iranintoavan

Ok, I have liked this girl for about a year now, she knows that. I have asked her out before but says she doesn't wanna have a boyfriend right now but is ok with me liking her and all cause were best friends. But like I guess she figures im over her cause she starts talking about this guy. Alright now get this, she now likes this guy that she doesn't know. Thats right, last summer she was at this fireman convention or something cause her dads a fireman and she met this guy there. (The kid lives 5 hours away) She talked to him like once, and hasnt seen him since. But now, she tells me all about him and says how great he is and how much she likes him. I wanted to smack her, I have liked her for about a year, she knows that, and she now likes a guy she doesnt know. That makes me feel like shit, that I have tried for a year now and she just up and meets some kid once and likes him. This summer at the convention he didnt go but I guess he told his parents to get her email address so he could email her. So he has her email address cause she gave it to him but he hasnt emailed her yet. But I swear if he does and I get a hold of his screen name I will not only tell him to stay away from her, but if he ever emails her again that ill get my hacker friend to destroy his computer. Now I dont know if I will actually do this cause what if she finds out, she probably wouldnt be too happy that I tried to ruin something (if anything ever did happen). Ah, im pissed

Alright, I'm going to respond to this with as much honesty as possible and as little beating around the bush as possible (with my opinion anyways).

1. She doesn't want a relationship with you. Sorry. If she did, she wouldn't have said no the first time, and she wouldn't be talking with this other guy. You are on the dreaded "friend" ladder, which puts you, in her eyes, as someone she can go to if she needs a favor, or to talk to if something is bugging her. But, no more than that. Sorry man, start looking for a new girl.

2. Don't talk about wanting to smack a woman. Ever. That's some real bullshit dude. Only a complete and utter piece of shit would ever consider smacking a woman. Unless she has a gun pointed to your head and the only way to save your life is to hit her, you don't do it. Period. Joking about it isn't even funny. I've had female friends be hit by their boyfriends (now ex's) for things as stupid as getting fingerprints on a car.

3. The relationship, however small, between her and this new guy, is not your business. If she wanted you in her business she would have informed you of it. Don't be acting like the pissed-off wannabe boyfriend and go bitching at a dude because the girl you like favors him over you, that's stupid, and immature. "Oh bah, this dude has a girl I likes' interest and it pisses me off because she told me no and him yes. Even though I don't know him, I'm going to have someone destroy his computer and all this happy horseshit. That will teach him to strike the interest of a girl."

Congrats man, destroy his shit, even when he has no idea about you. Good job on being a dick. Face the music, she's not for you. You can't just make someone love you. Not only that, but if you DO have someone destroy his computer and anything else, and it gets back to her, that could ruin whatever form of relationship you have right now completely.

Got all that? No? Here's the short version:

Man up and realize when you aren't a love interest and let her live her life. Don't fuck with what doesn't involve you and don't be getting on a tangent about warning someone for doing nothing wrong or destroying personal property for the same reason. You're her friend, so be one and take this like a man.

ac427cpe · #6 08-01-2004, 11:12 PM

since eighteenvisions wrote pretty much what i was about to post...

find a new girl. you'll be ecstatic, then when you need to talk to someone about said new girl, talk to your friend. because that's what she is. a FRIEND.

Oz · #7 08-01-2004, 11:22 PM

She's not interested? Get over it. There's millions of them out there. Meet her friends

NavyFord18 · #8 08-01-2004, 11:31 PM

I wonder how much these guy's are in the successful relationship ballpark. Look dude, if its a long term, serious ass relationship, wait. Do the research, 90% of successful, long (life long or close to it), relationship's start out as friends. the fact that she said no, may not be no, just not now. sounds like she still need's to grow up a little. My take, the best thing you can do is this, stay around her, a be there to pick up the piece's of her heart when her shit up boyfriends drop her like a hot pan. that's how I got my girlfriend.

tman · #9 08-02-2004, 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EighteenVisions

You are on the dreaded "friend" ladder, which puts you, in her eyes, as someone she can go to if she needs a favor, or to talk to if something is bugging her.

Ah, I love the Ladder Theory!

iranintoavan · #10 08-02-2004, 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EighteenVisions

2. Don't talk about wanting to smack a woman. Ever. That's some real bullshit dude. Only a complete and utter piece of shit would ever consider smacking a woman. Unless she has a gun pointed to your head and the only way to save your life is to hit her, you don't do it. Period. Joking about it isn't even funny. I've had female friends be hit by their boyfriends (now ex's) for things as stupid as getting fingerprints on a car.

Trust me, I would never smack a woman. I also believe that any guy that hits a girl dosen't deserve to live. It was just a figure of speach, I didn't mean I actually wanted to smack her. Sorry for the confusion.

91300zxtt · #11 08-02-2004, 01:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EighteenVisions

Alright, I'm going to respond to this with as much honesty as possible and as little beating around the bush as possible (with my opinion anyways).

1. She doesn't want a relationship with you. Sorry. If she did, she wouldn't have said no the first time, and she wouldn't be talking with this other guy. You are on the dreaded "friend" ladder, which puts you, in her eyes, as someone she can go to if she needs a favor, or to talk to if something is bugging her. But, no more than that. Sorry man, start looking for a new girl.

2. Don't talk about wanting to smack a woman. Ever. That's some real bullshit dude. Only a complete and utter piece of shit would ever consider smacking a woman. Unless she has a gun pointed to your head and the only way to save your life is to hit her, you don't do it. Period. Joking about it isn't even funny. I've had female friends be hit by their boyfriends (now ex's) for things as stupid as getting fingerprints on a car.

3. The relationship, however small, between her and this new guy, is not your business. If she wanted you in her business she would have informed you of it. Don't be acting like the pissed-off wannabe boyfriend and go bitching at a dude because the girl you like favors him over you, that's stupid, and immature. "Oh bah, this dude has a girl I likes' interest and it pisses me off because she told me no and him yes. Even though I don't know him, I'm going to have someone destroy his computer and all this happy horseshit. That will teach him to strike the interest of a girl."

Congrats man, destroy his shit, even when he has no idea about you. Good job on being a dick. Face the music, she's not for you. You can't just make someone love you. Not only that, but if you DO have someone destroy his computer and anything else, and it gets back to her, that could ruin whatever form of relationship you have right now completely.

Got all that? No? Here's the short version:

Man up and realize when you aren't a love interest and let her live her life. Don't fuck with what doesn't involve you and don't be getting on a tangent about warning someone for doing nothing wrong or destroying personal property for the same reason. You're her friend, so be one and take this like a man.

holy shit, i agree with everything you have said word for word. very nicely put

indyram · #12 08-02-2004, 02:14 AM

A few things I have learned the hard way:
1. Don't date bestfriends ever, if she is a casual friend maybe.
2. Somethings are just meant to be, if you are meant to be with her something will happen and you two would end up together.
3. If you are that good of friends you should be happy for her that she found someone she might like to have a relationship with.
4. Don't try and stop someone elses relationship unless it involves abuse, ect. Most likely you would end up having issues with the guy and losing a friend over it, is it worth it?

NavyFord18 · #13 08-02-2004, 02:27 AM

indyram, do tell man, why is it such a bad thing to date bestfriends. they already more than likely know alot about other. That's 90% of it right there. she's go'in for the mysertious type she still addicted to the hunt; the daydreams, the thrill, need I go on. Like I said before, be there for her like he has, and one day she'll wake up and see what she's got go'in. I'm best friends with my girl.

Toksin · #14 08-02-2004, 02:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EighteenVisions

pure brilliance

The man knows.

BleedDodge · #15 08-02-2004, 03:32 AM

I've never had a girlfriend before, and I can tell you that it's probably much more fun to be single. I'm loaded, I'm nineteen years old, and I have everything I need. I'm all set. I don't exclude women from my life totally, I talk to some of them but I just don't do anything with them. I look at my friends and they're all whipped, poor, driving shitty beat up cars and working at dead-end jobs that they can't get out of because they have no education and can't do anything else. One of my friends has a kid on the way, and I feel sorry for him, his life is done now. Sure they have sex and everything, but it costs them. I think I have things figured out, but I already know that many people disagree with the way I see it.

You're asking for advice, and I thought I'd just add my side to it. The relationship you have with this girl has gone probably about as far as it ever will, I would venture to say...

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