Horror Movie Survival Guide

[Raz_Kaz]

When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.

If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed necrophilia or satanic practices in your house move away immediately.

Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.

When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go it alone.

As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.

If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.

If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.

Do not take anything from the dead.

If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.

Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.

If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.

Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.

Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.

[2Slow4U_Noob]

you forgot one that I'm sure no one wants to hear about.

Curtosy of Scream:
Never have sex! The virgin never dies!

Nilbog = goblin spelled backwards. It's the town from Troll 2.




















OK i cheated and google Nilbog. I have no life

[Sluttypatton]

"Breaking News"

"Child slayer insists that he was unaware that his child had been taking latin classes at school. A life sentance is expected."

[ghostguy6]

If youve shot it, stabbed it, axed it, chainsawed it, pushed it through a window, hit it with a car, the only option left is fire! failing that, insert head between legs and kiss ass goodbye!

[Chevy_girl00]

Originally Posted by Sluttypatton

"Breaking News"

"Child slayer insists that he was unaware that his child had been taking latin classes at school. A life sentance is expected."

haha ^

[SiGNAL748]

If you happen to find a weapon, hit the monster at least once, but no more than 5 times, but also not as to kill it; Run down the hall, then drop your weapon, because chances are, you will need it later on.

[Chevy_girl00]

Oh yea... and don't forget to get right up next to a window and look out it. Cuz you know... they probably can't see you...

[Hyatus]

never say "I'll be right back...." cause u wont be back.

[iranintoavan]

Haha, so true.

[knorwj]

don't forget the all time #1 rule... If being chased immediately run upstairs... cuz you know you just gotta.

[KustmAce]

HAHA! Great find Raz!

[Jimster]

Very good Raz!!!

[psychobadboy]

Haha...good stuff

[Damien]

Also, dont stick ur eye or ear next to a hole in the stall of the Men's restroom

If you're fat and ya know u know it, then don't try to escape through the doggie door

If ya smoke it, then be prepare yourself to be smoked...

^Watch Scary Movies too much!

[FireBball972]

remember!!

the fat man always dies first! if you are an overweight male, your days are numbered