Retrosexuals

[Oz]

This is for the real blokes out there to pass on to all the blokes who now
days think it is cool to be a metro. Bring back our masculinity - stop being a bunch of pussies who have far too much gel in their hair and smell and look like chicks.

Something to ponder over a skinny decaf frapachino:
Please allow me to vent. I have had it. I've taken all I can stand and I can't stand no more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men prancing about, Decorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual...
>
> Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your arse, burp, and yell
> "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the Culture
> Wars, the Retrosexual movement. "
>
> The Code:
> - A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.
> - A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tyre, break-in into your home,
> or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.
> - A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.
> - A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you
> live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and
> drinking, I salute you. If you are still having sex, you are a God.
> - A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman.
> Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need
> deodorant and shaving gear - that's it!!
> - A Retrosexual does not dress like a homeboy with baggy pants that look
> like he's shat himself, or with a gay chain from pocket to pocket. If
> wearing a hat, wear it correctly - not on the side like a faggot. Blokes
> and necklaces (unless you are an Australian fast bowler) are out!
> - A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need
> be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.
> - A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.
> - A Retrosexual does not let neighbours screw up rooms in his house on
> national TV.
> - A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for
> women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only
> lead to you becoming a handbag carrying little puss, and in the long run,
> she ain't worth it.
> - A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to
> conceal himself from prey.
> - A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie -- and
> ONLY a Windsor knot.
> - A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about
> getting. This does not include males who have had cosmetic surgery.
> - A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer
> a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can -- or
> be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you are.
> - A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are
> riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT.
> Plus it's just plain fun to fire one off in the direction of those people
> or things that just need a little "wakin' up".
> - Crying. There are very few reasons that a Retrosexual may cry, and none
> of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports
> teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release
> is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can
> cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet
> (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part, or
> loss of major body part on your ute.
> - When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a
> pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that retrosexual stands up and
> offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called
> men still in their seats with a disgusted "you rude pricks" look on his
> face.
> - A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not
> understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset
> the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged or in a
> serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting,
> shooting, cigars, car maintenance and drinking piss with the boys.
> - A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.
> - A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants.
> Wherever it lands is where he bloody well wanted it to land. Except on his
> ute--that would happen because of a "force of nature", and then the
> retrosexual man's options are to Cry, or to DEAL with IT, or do both.
> - A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but
> any elderly person or person in military dress (except 2nd Lt's) NOTE:
> The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual
> man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their
> country.
> - A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough.
> - A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does
> something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the
> process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT!

[Toksin]

Fuckin A

[Raz_Kaz]

[tonioseven]

Hell yeah! by the way...for a really good cigar, ge a tin of Macanudos from the Dominican Republic!! They go great with shots of Jack Daniels

[zebrathree]

Originally Posted by Toksin

Fuckin A

Errmmm...Dave....you're the biggest metrosexual I know.

[FireBball972]

AMEN! come on brothas, can I get an AMEN!!!

wish there were more people like that in the world. FUCK YES!

[91300zxtt]

haha finally, action is being taken against the pompous metros that need to "tan" and get manicures.


i agree wioth everything except the whole bagy pant, a lil baggy is fine, now completely baggy, as well as nothing too tite either

[Ricochet]

I don't drink piss with the boys, guess I'm gay

[-GS-]

Thats the way men should live there lives

[Karen512]

Originally Posted by -GS-

Thats the way men should live there lives

[Toksin]

Originally Posted by zebrathree

Errmmm...Dave....you're the biggest metrosexual I know.

WTF? Just cos I'm not a hick doesn't mean I'm a metrosexual Mr Swandri.

I'm petrosexual

Anyways, I'm not the one who struts around in Versace cologne *cough*Moss*cough*

[zebrathree]

I saw the 5gallon bottle of hairgel, oh yes I did.

Leave the Swandri out of this eh

[Toksin]

Style != metrosexual

[zebrathree]

Oh well then you're definatly NOT metro then

[Oz]

So defensive.