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| COMPLETELY off-topic Talk about anything other than cars. But you can't be mad and angry in this forum! |
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#1
07-13-2004, 05:02 PM
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Something To Offend Everyone
Since my last thread started a little flaming from Canadians to Americans
I thought it would be better to just get at everyone  What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan. What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag. Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts. Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs. What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes. What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls. What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?" Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo." Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong" What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe". How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh * t..." Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides. 
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#3
07-13-2004, 05:10 PM
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Re: Something To Offend Everyone
hahahahaha, those are hilarious!!
a few of them I laughed out loud  wow that was funny  great post 
__________________
 Badgers, goin to the Rose Bowl this year!!
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#4
07-13-2004, 05:16 PM
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Re: Something To Offend Everyone
I wondered what happened to the other thread, I was lovin it
__________________
1987 Honda Accord LX-Dead 1999 Honda Accord EX-L 5 sp-Sold 2006 Subaru WRX Wagon 5sp-Sold 2005 Nissan Frontier ext cab 4x4 4.0L-Sold 2006 Kawasaki Ninja 500r-Sold 2004 Yamaha FZ1 Silver/Black- Sold  2008 Mazdaspeed 3-In the driveway
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#7
07-13-2004, 05:28 PM
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Re: Something To Offend Everyone
To those concerned about the other thread....it was deleted because it turned to be a flame war from a j0ke.
Now if anyone else would like to contribute to this thread of offensive jokes, please do
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#8
07-13-2004, 05:29 PM
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Re: Something To Offend Everyone
WooHoo!!!
US RULES CANADA SUCKS. just kidding.
__________________
BP's Rides; - 2005 Kawasaki Ninja ZX6R- Mods: ECU Jumper, Akrapovic Slip-on, Power Commander III, 8000K HID's. - 2K2 Maxima 6 Speed-Mods: Advanced Timing, Cattman Cat-back Exhaust, H&R Springs, Tokico Illumina Struts, Konig Theory 19" Rims.    
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#9
07-13-2004, 05:37 PM
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Re: Something To Offend Everyone
Hey folks, Im back after a 2 month hyatus
 glad to be back to these forums
__________________
http://www.retardsoftheday.cjb.net <<MY SITE, check it out, it is quite funny and Updated Every day New York Yankees Join the asses, that rock the masses David
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#12
07-13-2004, 05:43 PM
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Re: Something To Offend Everyone
I have 3 questions:
1. what is a hyatus? 2. what is an Imapla? 3. what is a Camero? that is all
__________________
"The greatest Americans have not been born yet, they are waiting patiently for the past to die"
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#15
07-13-2004, 05:56 PM
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Re: Re: Something To Offend Everyone
Quote:
__________________
"The greatest Americans have not been born yet, they are waiting patiently for the past to die"
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