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#1
07-08-2004, 01:47 PM
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If Men Ran The World
If Men Ran The World
1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the rear and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it. 2. Birth control would come in ale or lager. 3. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. 4. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day too. 5. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month. 6. Garbage would take itself out. 7. Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history. 8. The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle". 9. Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps" 10. Tanks would be far easier to rent. 11. Two words... "Ally McNaked". 12. When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in: Cop: "You know how fast you were going?" You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place." Cop: "Nice one, That's $10.00 off". 13. People would never talk about how fresh they felt. 14. Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again. 15. Every man would get four, real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year. 16. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation. 17. It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas. 18. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards. 19. Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said "You're #1!". 20. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. 21. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you". 22. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO. 23. "Sorry I'm late, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness. 24. At the end of the workday a whistle would blow and you would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone. 25. Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
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 Badgers, goin to the Rose Bowl this year!! 
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#2
07-08-2004, 01:52 PM
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Re: If Men Ran The World
Quote:
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#3
07-08-2004, 01:57 PM
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Re: If Men Ran The World
drinking a glass of water would cure a hangover
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1987 Honda Accord LX-Dead 1999 Honda Accord EX-L 5 sp-Sold 2006 Subaru WRX Wagon 5sp-Sold 2005 Nissan Frontier ext cab 4x4 4.0L-Sold 2006 Kawasaki Ninja 500r-Sold 2004 Yamaha FZ1 Silver/Black- Sold  2008 Mazdaspeed 3-In the driveway
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#5
07-08-2004, 02:02 PM
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Those are great!!
I want to live in that world!! Especially the beer in vending machines!! (especially on college campuses!! and at work!!) 
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2004 SRT-4 1998 GMC 2500 1996 Eagle Talon TSi AWD Turbo 1993 Eagle Talon TSi AWD Turbo 1985 Nissan 300ZX Turbo 1990 Nissan 300ZX Twin Turbo  Past Z Cars Crew   
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#7
07-08-2004, 02:58 PM
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Re: If Men Ran The World
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#8
07-08-2004, 05:50 PM
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Re: If Men Ran The World
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Quote:
Of course that would have to be preceded by mandatory break up sex
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#9
07-08-2004, 06:36 PM
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Re: If Men Ran The World
Quote:
 hmmm may explain why I am jobless? 
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*~*KaTe *~* We know exactly where the one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we don't have a clue as to where the thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
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#11
07-08-2004, 07:52 PM
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Re: If Men Ran The World
those are great!
and beer does come in vending machines (maybe just not where you are)
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hello, i am Dan No more project cars. I wonder how long that will last...
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#12
07-08-2004, 08:09 PM
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Re: If Men Ran The World
I think I'm going to have to agree with the entire list.
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 AF User Guidelines <----Click and read if you don't know these. "Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." A Blog By Swigz Cotidie damnatur qui semper timet; Aquila non captat muscas.
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#13
07-08-2004, 09:47 PM
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Re: If Men Ran The World
i thought men did run the world? lol
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#15
07-08-2004, 09:58 PM
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Re: If Men Ran The World
Karen proves herself once more!!!
 So that must mean that women rule the world if those rules don't already apply! 
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those were great, it would be pretty cool if some of those things were actually around 
