A few jokes

[Neutrino]

A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.

During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.

"I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."

-------------------------------------------


Mr. Smith went to the Doctor's office to collect his wife's test results.

Receptionist: "I'm sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we
have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the
samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain
which one is your wife's. Frankly, it's either bad or terrible."

Mr. Smith: "What do you mean?"

Receptionist:"Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer disease
and the other for AIDS. We cannot tell which
is your wife."

Mr Smith: "That's terrible! What am I supposed to do now?"

Receptionist: "The doctor recommends that you drop your wife off
in the middle of town and if she finds her way home, don't fuck her.

---------------------------------

A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.

The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal."

"That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car."

"Alright," replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."

The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice.

About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?"

"No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."

[jashas62]

The third one was good!!!!

[crayzayjay]

First two are awesome

[matada]

I LOVE the third one. I need customers like that. Lots of them.

[Jimster]

I love the first one! Takes me back to the days of those Law tests....

[pikkagtr]

loved all three of them
thnks for the laughs

[Oz]

Second one had my in tears!!

[psychobadboy]

They were good

[Raz_Kaz]

All of them were funny....

EDIT: I am an idiot :

[psychobadboy]

It was right originally Raz. "...it's not going to be legal."

[FireBball972]

hahah, those are great!

[-GS-]

those were pretty damn funny

[93rollaracer]

very nice

[DiabloGT]

the 3rd one is the best, but all were funny
thanks

[dayna240sx]

Originally Posted by Neutrino

A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.

During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.

"I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."

Since when are professors called moderators? Or am I missing something?