How to hide your Ninja lifestyle.......

[Jet-Lee]

Found this and thought it was rather amusing (maybe its the Ninjitsu background)


How to Hide Your Ninja Lifestyle from Your Co-Workers

Step One: Solve Problems With Your Mind Instead Of Your Nunchakus
While nunchakus are a time-honoured tradition of dispute settlement among the ninja, their use is usually discouraged in the typical American office. The next time someone steals your stapler or eats your lunch from the office refrigerator, try saying a few friendly, but firm, words to them instead of smashing their skull with your nunchakus.

Step Two: Try Using Office Items For Their Intended Purposes
As you are well aware, one of the greatest skills of the ninja is the ability to turn any ordinary item into a lethal weapon. However, years of doing so can cause the practitioner to forget the uses that said items were created for in the first place. For instance, did you know that, as well as making a delightful eye stabbing and handcuff-unlocking tool, a paperclip can be used to hold groups of paper together? Were you aware that pens might be used to write messages on paper, as well as for projectile weapons?

Step Three: Cut Down On The Target Practice
While throwing shuriken (throwing stars for non-ninjas) at every moving object that happens by your desk is a highly esteemed tradition in most Shoaling office environments, the practice is considered rude in America. Work on your target practice in the privacy of your own home. Not only will your true identity remain concealed, you might even make more friends at your company!

Step Four: Instead Of A Smoke Bomb, Try Saying Goodbye
I know it's a hard habit to break, but it really isn't necessary to disappear every time you leave for the day or go to the bathroom. Instead, try saying "Goodbye" or one of the popular variations, like "See you later," before walking out the door. It's not as dramatic, but these are tough times for the American ninja, and we all must make sacrifices.

Step Five: Walk Through The Office
While using your ninja claws, foot spikes and grappling hooks to move throughout your office is surely the most graceful and efficient mode of transportation, it also happens to be a sure-fire way to alert your co-workers that you are a ninja. Try walking around on the floor, like everyone else. Remember that you needn't to sneak around either; watch how your co-workers walk and follow suit.

Step Six: When In America, Dress Like An American
While you would definitely feel more comfortable in a jet-black ninja jutte and two-toed Tabi boots, most ninjas find they are better able to blend into the typical American workplace when they wear shirts and ties. You won't be able to sneak up on your prey as easily, but then again, that is exactly the kind of behaviour you might be better off without.

Step Seven: Ritual Suicide Is A Big No-No
As a practitioner of the ancient art of ninjitsu, this one is going to be the toughest. The next time someone shames you by walking into the stall when you are having a bowel movement, or a rival company betters your boss in business, you must not commit ritual suicide. Though it goes against every instinct in your body, try simply getting drunk or being loud and irritable like most other Americans do.

Congratulations! If you have fully utilised all of these helpful tips, your co-workers probably have no idea that you are a ninja.

[2Slow4U_Noob]

Originally Posted by Jet-Lee

Found this and thought it was rather amusing (maybe its the Ninjitsu background)



Step Four: Instead Of A Smoke Bomb, Try Saying Goodbye
I know it's a hard habit to break, but it really isn't necessary to disappear every time you leave for the day or go to the bathroom. Instead, try saying "Goodbye" or one of the popular variations, like "See you later," before walking out the door. It's not as dramatic, but these are tough times for the American ninja, and we all must make sacrifices.

Step Seven: Ritual Suicide Is A Big No-No
As a practitioner of the ancient art of ninjitsu, this one is going to be the toughest. The next time someone shames you by walking into the stall when you are having a bowel movement, or a rival company betters your boss in business, you must not commit ritual suicide. Though it goes against every instinct in your body, try simply getting drunk or being loud and irritable like most other Americans do.

[Raz_Kaz]

That was funny, and I imagine an old chinese guy saying this, which makes it funnier
(no offense)

[Chavez408]

thats some good shit

[Afrofent]

Haha, lol. I have to do all those thing's everyday.

[Karen512]

Originally Posted by Raz_Kaz

That was funny, and I imagine an old chinese guy saying this, which makes it funnier
(no offense)

Exactly what I was thinking!!

[lamehonda]

Great

post this in the stress release area.
might give them sum ideas tho

[ac427cpe]

oh man, that's amazing! ROFL

[RSX-S777]

Has anyone here contemplated ritual suicide after an interrupted bowel movement?

[FireBball972]

hahaha, what the frick....... ^

[Karen512]

Originally Posted by RSX-S777

Has anyone here contemplated ritual suicide after an interrupted bowel movement?

...just yesterday

[eversio11]

Originally Posted by Karen512

...just yesterday

ewww girls don't have bowel movements

[drklver]

Originally Posted by eversio11

ewww girls don't have bowel movements

[Karen512]

Originally Posted by eversio11

ewww girls don't have bowel movements

Just kidding guys........

Jeeeezzzzzzz

[Oz]

Originally Posted by eversio11

ewww girls don't have bowel movements

Thank Christ for that. It's bad enough when they take a crap.

As for the thread topic, Duly noted