Tune-up hell

[PunkAlex]

My camry (yes i know its not a 4th gen but i think you guys would appreciate my story a bit better) has been in need of a tuneup for a while, so i went ot the autoparts store last ngiht and bought a bunch of gooodies. So today i was stoked and ready to work...or so i thought

So i start off with a simple oil change. Nothin major, right? baaaah....I start up the engine and let it sit for about 30 seconds to get the oil warm so i dont have to wait for an hour to get every bit out of my oilpan. I kill it, put the catchpan under there, loosened up the drainplug and it started dripping, then oozing, then i dropped the plug in teh catchpan and it came POURING out...as in hitting the catch pan and splashing OUT of the pan....after getting about half a quart on the driveway, i moved the catchpan to get it all....and in the process i had started cussign becuase i got hot oil on an open cut....that hurt like a mutha.

Ok so onto changing the oil filter....i look at it and its between the alternator and the exuast manifold...no room for a oilfilter wrench...shit. So i try at it a couple of times with various wrenches, no worky. I decided to take the exaust manifold heat shield off....the first bolt came off no problem, the second kinda got stuck, so i put just the tinyest bit of pressure on the wrench, SNAPPPP off comes the head...and as a bonus, the head of the bolt somehow twisted inside of my socket, ruining the only 12 mm socket i had...so no heatshield off for me...fuck

Well i finally got it off by stabbing the old one with a screwdriver and twisting it off like that. I put the new one on and hand tightned it as hard as i could. That piece aint comin off anytime soon.

So im sitting there taking a break letting the last of hte oil run out, when a bird shits on ym head. Yeah, thats right, a fuckin bird! and as i proceed to cuss the bird out, a 5 year old and her mom are walking by my driveway, staring at me. Fuck.

Ok so the oil pan is plugged and filled. Nothign went wrong there. Then i went on to change the sparkplugs. That went ok, no major problems, except when i went to start it up and checked for current in the wires, and one of the wires had a fucked up cover, giving me a REAL nice shock. Holy fuck. That one hurt. After cussing again and gaining the attention of the neighbors, i went on to put a dizzy cap and wires on my to buy list and taped up the wire with electrical tape.

So then i have to run some injector cleaner through the intake, so i begin to pour it in and the engine bogs out and dies. Ok too fast. I start it up and begin pouring. Again, it bogs out and dies. Too fast pouring again. So i finally get it pouring right, i let it sit for a few, then i start it up again. I choke on a cloud of smoke (thats normal for this injector cleaner) and the camry finally starts runnign smoothly. Nice

Ok so then i took it for a little test drive. I drove it on this nice little dirt road when my asshole neighbor starts riding my ass in his beat up f150 5.0 (tired mother fucker. I floor it. He does the same. I pull his ass! WOO HOO!

Ok im done now

[2ndb18]

hahahahahha, the bird shit part is the funniest thing ive read in a long time. NICE

[civic_boy91]

nice...lmao...

[crxlvr]

dude, funny story and all, but your not supposed to tightern and oil filter like that. just after the gasket makes contact, only put another 1/4 turn on it.

[shaddr3]

omfg... i would pay to see that on video... oh man, thats great, i couldnt believe the bird shit part, but the funniest part was when your neighbors walked by, hahaha!!! omg!

[PunkAlex]

Originally Posted by crxlvr

dude, funny story and all, but your not supposed to tightern and oil filter like that. just after the gasket makes contact, only put another 1/4 turn on it.

Im anal about that kind stuff...my brother was the last person to change the oil on the car...the filter fell off when he hit a curb...luckily he realized it happened and didnt loose oil and everything. This woudl be the second filter ive installed like that and it really hasnt blown up or siezed or anythign, so

[91civichatch2571]

The reason you shouldnt tighten them too hard is because it will unseat the gasket and smush it, making it leak. My rule of thumb for oil filters is, they come off with my right hand and go on with my left.

[PunkAlex]

i mean its not like i took a wrench to it...i tightened it as much as i could wiht my mechanix gloves on (and oilfilers are slick little fuckers)

[shaddr3]

hmmm... haha im still laughing at the neighbors and bird shit!