Classic Guys names and their meanings

[Oz]

P!ssing myself, after our "real names" thread.

Aaron - ugly but hung like a horse, prone to belly button fluff.
Adam - cute, funny, chicks dig him, well hung but very caring.
Adrian - usually short and very horny, watches cartoons.
Alan - cute and short but a liar and a cheat.
Alex - shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women.
Allistair - homosexual champion, do I really have to explain?
Allan - enjoys martial arts flicks, dreams of being the Karate Kid and
kicking the bully's ass.
Allen - loser. Girls do not dig him, ever.
Alphonse - gay. (Obvious isn't it?)
Amir - Dirty, Smelly, Pecker is minuscule.
Andy - boring and has a small pecker.
Andrew - gay and still has a small pecker.
Antonio - has a great body and beautiful skin, and chicken brain.
Anthony - great guy and kind to all girls, smells of weed.
Arnold - loser.
Arthur - hung like a slave and celibate.
Barry - (also known as Bazza) lights fires, pinches girls bottoms and is
well hung.
Bart - unfortunately shares name with popular cartoon character, for this
reason will never score well with chicks.
Basil - named after a herb, likes to smoke a different kind of herb.
Ben - funny and can be really difficult to beat at games.
Bernie - fun for a weekend away, can be stiff company.
Bill - all round good guy, women love him.
Blair - know it all, does not listen when spoken to.
Bob - quiet and unpopular, eats with his hands.
Brad - thinks everyone likes him...but they don't.
Brandon - good looking but uses girls.
Brendan - quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time.
Brennan - not a name, anyone called this does not deserve to get laid.
Brett - world wide slut and really insensitive, women love him.
Brian - mean and only thinks of himself, no he's not the Messiah he's just
a naughty boy.
Bryan - sexy, but stupid - can't spell.
Bronsen - annoying and never grows up - has a stupid name.
Bruce - stinks bad and thinks everyone else's name is also Bruce.
Bryce - fun to be with and will make you laugh, you'll kill him within a
week.
Burnie - likes to light farts in bed, for this reason never has long term
relationships, ever.
Calvin - immature in a naive way, drives a Gemini.
Cameron - gets beaten up a lot, dreams of dating the popular girl, it never
happens.
Carl - thinks he's funny...he's not, falls asleep during sex.
Carson - fun to be around and really sensitive.
Chad - cute, sensitive and very studly - only found in American movies no
real person has that name.
Charles - can't trust him, eyes too close together.
Charlie - everyone's friend, will pay for alcohol, for this reason everyone
likes him.
Chris - can't pull, will pay for women, but has a huge pecker and can use
it too.
Christian - very sexy and seductive (think 'Legends of the Fall').
Clark - thinks he's superman in bed (which is true - he comes faster than a
speeding bullet).
Claude - French guy who can score by simply talking (even reading a menu
will do it).
Cliff - very sweet and adores girls, but very superficial.
Clint - no one names their child Clint, except Mr & Mrs Eastwood...
Clive - likes the sound of his own voice, everyone hates him.
Col - short, stumpy, balding guy, only ever pulls one chick and then
carries her.
Cole - nice, funny, and fun to be around.
Colin - likes to play cricket, never on winning team though.
Con - lies to women and blows up public buildings.
Conor - handsome fella who always looks good naked.
Cory - funny but ugly, ends up running fashion magazines.
Craig - likes to pretend to be Tarzan in bed, but can't find Jane - ends up
settling for Cheetah the Chimp.
Cyril - well, Cyril.
Damien - into 'plushies' (having sex with stuffed animals), favourite
partner is Ms. Bunny Wabbit.
Damon - total loser in a sweaty sort of way.
Dan - quiet but funny, but becomes easily addicted to narcotics.>
Dane - arrogant little c@@t, thinks chicks want him, they don't.
Daniel - enjoys root vegetables in every orifice.
Danny - popular with everyone, pulls chicks like nobody's business,
i.e.he's well-hung and f@@ks like a Trojan.
Darren - charming , but sleeps with men.
Darryl - smells bad, has no real mates
David - hotty and works out a lot, loves girls named Florence.
Dave - extremely sexy, always funny, intelligent trendsetter i.e. a ****er.

Dean - full of himself and thinks with his dick.
Dennis - either very nice to girls or a ******.
Derek - has a great sense of humour, and blow-up doll collection.
Derrick - weird but can hold together a conversation with a mermaid.
Dirk - the star of numerous porn flicks, hung like a donkey.
Dominic - hilarious and will do anything to please.
Don - ********.
Doug - has a greasy face, drinking problem and farts.
Drew - bad-**** loser who never shuts up.
Dudley - nobody with this name ever had sex with another human being,
(animals yes, people no).
Dylan - horny bastard, who can't sing.
Dwayne - cool guy to be around if you can handle his name.
Dwight - little pecker but knows how to use it.
Eddie - wants too many chicks he'll never get cos he's an arsehole.
Emrys - Loud mouth gobby Shitte.
Elliott - Full of himself
Eric - shy.
Erik - funny and treats girls how he wants to be treated.
Errol - has visions of wearing tights and being a swashbuckling pirate,
but will only get a woman if he ties her up first.
Evan - a little slow but sweet, sexy, and model mental patient.
Everrett - has hairy back which really puts girls off, i.e. no repeat sex
with any woman, ever.
Felix - this is a cat's name, any guy with this name needs to buy a blow-up
doll - will never get laid, ever.
Frances - champion boxer (had to be to survive beatings for sissy name),
girls like him.
Frank - "different" - missing DNA - favours girls named Lucy.
Gareth - sweet but dresses too good to be straight.
Gary - mouthy bastard likes bondage, S&M, very hard to understand, likes
group sex but so sweet.
Garry - likes to think he's better than a 'Gary', but avoids group sex as
he has little pecker.
Gavin - first sexual experience was with the family dog, went downhill from
there.
Geoff - prefers golf to sex and war to peace.
George - barman who drinks more than he serves.
Gerrard - can only pull ugly girls.
Gerry - good guy, always willing to shout a round at the pub.
Glen - the sweetest guy - really down to eartherrard - can only pull ugly
girls.
Gerry - good guy, always willing to shout a round at the pub.
Glen - the sweetest guy - really down to earth
Graeme - bit of a bastard.
Grahame - a REAL bastard!
Grant - HORNY! but so sweet and you can talk to him about anything.
Greg - really sweet and feels sorry for himself.
Gregory - poncey version of 'Greg', has more money so gets laid more often
than 'Greg'
Hamish - super-cool guy who always gets the girl.
Harvey - cute, but addicted to sex and/or drugs.
Hathem - smooth, but very manipulative, not to be trusted around young
girls.
Haydn - tries hard.
Henry - loser but well hung.
Howard - likes small-breasted women and pornography (doesn't everybody!).
Iain - buys girls drinks to get them in bed.
Ian - really popular but knows all the girls want him...yeh right!!!
Jack - stupid but hot. Always alright.
Jake - shy and sweet but a slut when drunk.
Jamie - scum of the Earth.
James - same as above.
Jarrod - easily influenced, honest, understanding.
Jason - loves to gossip...worse than a woman!
Jay - very sweet when you get to know him well.
Jeff - really ugly.
Jeremy - can't pull a chick but good to talk to.
Jerry - tries to fit in, but he never does.
Jim - sweet, has fantasies of love and affection.
Jimmy - full of himself, can't stop bragging about non-existent sexual
exploits.
Joe - built like a bear, sexy but tends to lose his head.
Joel - **** .
John - has no friends or life - tends to kill small animals.
Jonathon - think he's good - he's **** .
Jordan - sexy but weird in bed.
Jorg - tries hard with the ladies, never actually gets there.
Jose - hot boy with a love of hermaphrodites.
Joseph - has an understandable complex that a big important powerful guy is
going to knock up his woman and he'll be left raising the brat.
Josh - full of himself, fun.
Julian - makes a great drag queen.
Junior - hotty and totally good at football.
Justin - aggravating but lovable, insecure but successful.
Kain - the sexiest guy alive but very stuck up.
Kelvin - can't trust him, cheats at every opportunity.
Keiran - uses girls like nobody's business, has a little pecker.
Keith - good person to talk to when you have a problem - his is worse.
Ken - has short man syndrome, will never grow up, no one likes him.
Kent - hilarious and always in trouble, problem with 'jailbait'.
Kenneth - very, very...anything you want him to be.
Kevin - Always attracts really fit girlfriends also has a large penis,
really nice to women.
Kip - This name only exists in books where he is super-cool totally 'it'
guy - never happen in real life, he'd be a loser.
Kirk - his girlfriend has a problem with his with sexual addiction to male
prostitutes.
Kurt - will never have a date, only girlfriend will be 'Sheila', blow-up
doll.
Lachlan - the object of pointing and staring in the locker room,no-one's
ever seen one that small.
Larry - cute but wannabe player with big **** .
Lawrence - can't help the way he looks, but makes it hard to meet anyone.
Laurey - short and funny looking.
Lee - total ****er who thinks every girls wants him, and they do...in his
dreams.
Leon - everyone's friend, no-one's lover.
Les - dirty minded individual, imagines everyone naked.
Lewis - lonely, sad git, bit of a tosser.
Lindsey - is full of **** , drinks too much and can't get it up.
Lyndon - can always be found in bed or in the pub.
Liam - loud mouthed arsehole, normally found in rock bands and pubs.
Lionel - pathetic wretch who's mother sets him up on blind dates.
Lloyd - is waiting for the 'mothership' to take hime home, will not stoop
to having sex with humans.
Lorenzo - fine and dresses in stolen gold.
Lucas - seems to be sweet - Luke Solomons exactly!
Luke - fat loser that dates other men.
Malcolm - tall man who tends to lose his trousers.
Marc - fantasises about pretty lights, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke.
Marcel - total cleptomaniac, will steal anything not tied down including
your woman.
Marcus - his mother still dresses him and for this reason he has no chick
pulling power.
Mario - scary guy who 'knows people', avoid upsetting him at all costs if
you value your life.
Mark - wished girls liked him for who he is not his great looks though.
Martin - sweet guy, but not one you'd sleep with.
Matt - nice guy, gets the girls, mediumly well hung.
Matthew - longer version of above.
Max - girls love him as he treats them well, (big d@@k helps as well!).
Michael - very good looking but he'll do anything for a girl
Mick - always drunk, tendency for drug abuse.
Milton - total **** bandit.
Mitchell - the ugliest dog and he don't get any.
Mohammed - Small Penis.
Murray - fair dinkum and is an expert at cunninglingus
Nathan - stupid as hell, and tends to make others feel dumb.
Neal - hopeless romantic, but can't get it up.
Neil - can get it up, but has no staying power.
Neville - surprisingly large penis, but only into solo sex.
Nick - HORNY! but really nice - can't get past the missionary position.
Nigel - shy, but with good reason, what self-respecting girl would have sex
with a 'Nigel'?
Noel - bit of a hard bastard but sweet and will do anything in this world
for you, great in bed.
Norman - has an unhealthy obsession with his mother, often dresses up in
her clothes and a wig. Avoid showering with him.
Oliver - likes men but is in denial.
Oscar - loser, a good name for a dog.
Otto - large, hairy European into 3-way action, likes large breasted women
(who doesn't?).
Owen - cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.
Patrick - drunk, drunk, drunk.
Paul - cool, calm and handsome, a quality only found in gays.
Pete - lucky if he can get it up once every 3 months.
Peter - cutie but very shy, makes women feel like virgins.
Phil - nice guy, but gay, gets lots of ass however.
Phillip - stupid idiot who wishes he were cool. Constantly watches porn,
can't stop ****ing and has more wet dreams than anybody.
Pierre - has an overinflated opinion of his sexual abilities, women talk
however - so he only scores with out-of-towners.
Ranald - talks crap, but can score if the woman is really, really
shitfaced.
Rashpal - C@@t
Ray - shoots blanks.
Reagen - ...strange.
Rhys - great lover but had his mind stolen by aliens a long, long time ago.

Richard - ****er.
Rick - see above.
Ricky - ugly shithead who everybody hates.
Rikki - see above.
Rob - small and ugly...everybody hates him. Constantly watches porn.
Robert - great guy, always gets the girl.
Roger - given his name not surprising that he has lots of great sex
Ronald - loves to be bossed around
Ross - never gets the girl, gets less sex than 'Shane'.
Roy - total loser and computer genius.
Rupert - arrogant twat who is crap in bed but thinks he is a stud.
Russell - likes to play in the leaves which makes him an arsehole.
Ryan - short but sexy body and even sexier mind.
Sam - wannabe sex machine.
Samuel - not someone taken seriously by women, gets by with porn videos and
magazines.
Scott - has serious disabilities.
Sean - has small testicles and no friends.
Sergio - women melt when he talks i.e. he gets so much sex he should be
outlawed.
Seth - so sweet to other people but is a traitor.
Shane - thinks everybody wants to shag him - he's a virgin.
Shannon - the most determined and persevering sweetie in the world.
Shaun - bit of a fat bastard, thinks women love him.
Simon - likes a night out with the lads and curries. Talks bollocks.
Steven - popular and funny when looked at side-on.
Stewart - demented bastard who whacks off to hardware store catalogues.
Stuart - droll guy with great **** and suicidal tendencies but great in
bed.
Tim - hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is.
Terry - nice boy who mothers adore, but daughters can't stand.
Toby - bastard.
Todd - has dreadlocks and smokes too much to get it up.
Tom - marries fat chicks.
Tony - cool but can be arrogant.
Travis - fat and horny with the best XXX collection to be found.
Trevor - sweet and funny but sometimes untrustworthy.
Troy - cute and popular, hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around.
Taylor - gay.
Vince - cool guy, hangs out in pool hall.
Vincent - not so cool version of above, hangs out in coffee shop.
Warren - cool, homosexual guy.
Wayne - not to be trusted around 'jailbait'.
Wesley - great guy and easy to tolerate.
Will - wishes he were popular.
William - IS popular
Zach - sweet and polite and adorable.
Zahid - devious and sly. Not to be trusted.

[RSX-S777]

Nice. Hello ladies...my name is Christian....

[eversio11]

Mark - wished girls liked him for who he is not his great looks though.

agreed

[TexasF355F1]

Jason - loves to gossip...worse than a woman!

Nope, I don't gossip. I like to hear it, but I don't spread it.

[panzershreck]

Adam - cute, funny, chicks dig him, well hung but very caring.

fits well

[jcz1987]

Justin - aggravating but lovable, insecure but successful.

Thats very true for me!

[MBTN]

Bahaha my name isn't on there!

[mike@af]

Most of those fit people I know. Like mine:

Michael - very good looking but he'll do anything for a girl

[EclipseRST]

LMAO... damn these are pretty true!

Jake - shy and sweet but a slut when drunk.

Liquid courage baby!!!

[pickle]

Originally Posted by Oz

Allistair - homosexual champion, do I really have to explain?

hahaha my brother. SO TRUE

Originally Posted by oz

Gavin - first sexual experience was with the family dog, went downhill from there.

I don't really know what to say.

Originally Posted by oz

Phil - nice guy, but gay, gets lots of ass however.

Thanks for proving what I thought all along about my brother.

[GTR2b]

Scott - Has serious disabilities

That sucks.

[Howielong]

Steven - popular and funny when looked at side-on.


Man what does side-on mean. But im popular somewhat.

[castback]

Originally Posted by Oz

P!ssing myself, after our "real names" thread.


Taylor - gay.

good thing my name is tyler not taylor. though a lot of people do call me taylor

[SiGNAL748]

Originally Posted by TexasF355F1

... but I don't spread it.

Well i'd hope you don't spread it

[FireBball972]

Michael - very good looking but he'll do anything for a girl