Question for The Ladies

[JD@af]

So, my question for you ladies is simple:

Have you ever ended a relationship with a guy (or just not callen him back) because he was too slow to try and get you in the sack?

In case you are wondering, yes, I have had a couple dates in the last couple years that didn't turn out the way I had wanted, and I am wondering if playing "the nice guy" was what got me the boot. But besides that, I am curious if the women of generation X and generation Y (Y being those born 1977 and later) are more inclined towards having sex without love than culture would have us guys believe. Thanks in advance for your input.

[DantesInferno]

I have been in three relationships. And I can say that no, I have never ended a relationship because a guy was too slow getting me into "the sack". As for myself, I am not inclined to have sex without love. I think without love, sex is rather selfish and somewhat demeaning.

As far as nice guys finishing last. I would definately have to say, no, they don't. In my experience, I have only been attracted to so-called "nice guys". Yes, some have had real rebellious streaks in their past or present, and yes part of that is a bit thrilling, but overall, I would say you have nothing to worry about JD. Being the "nice guy", while it does seem to have it's drawbacks, I'm sure (just like being the "nice girl" does), it pays off in the end.

[Spec2 Girl]

Originally posted by JD@af
So, my question for you ladies is simple:

Have you ever ended a relationship with a guy (or just not callen him back) because he was too slow to try and get you in the sack?

Are you serious! Are there really guys like this out there. I’m not taking the piss at all, but I have honestly never come across any of them. Are you including the guys that when you make a move on them they still say no, because I’ve NEVER met any of them!!

I’m not meaning to sound like a biatch, but this species must be a rare breed indeed!

[JD@af]

Originally posted by DantesInferno
Being the "nice guy", while it does seem to have it's drawbacks, I'm sure (just like being the "nice girl" does), it pays off in the end.

True, true.

There are those nights I go out, put on my game face, get ripped, and may walk out at last call with a handful of numbers and compliments, but that usually gets me nowhere in the long run. I guess it all depends on whether I am looking for "Ms. Right" or "Ms. Right Now." :sun:

[JD@af]

Originally posted by FTO Girl
Are you serious! Are there really guys like this out there. I’m not taking the piss at all, but I have honestly never come across any of them. Are you including the guys that when you make a move on them they still say no, because I’ve NEVER met any of them!!

I’m not meaning to sound like a biatch, but this species must be a rare breed indeed!

Noooo.. I know I'm not a rare breed. I'm.. just.. not in the mood sometimes...

For one, if you know a lot of women who have been victims of rape or sexual assault, you may start to develop a tendency to play things cool. It is a sad fact how many women have been victims... I've seen statistics that it's about 1 in 3, and based on the women I've met in my life, I'm certainly inclined to believe it.

Besides that, seems to me that making a pass too soon is a sure-fire way to get your ass booted, while usually taking the slow route will not land you on your hiney with such vengeance. So I tend to take my time.. though of course if depends on the individual.

[darkness]

I would have to admit I am one of these guys.

"Nice guys finish last"

I just get nervous. I mean it took me 6 months to work up the courage to ask the last person out.

[DantesInferno]

Originally posted by JD@af
There are those nights I go out, put on my game face, get ripped, and may walk out at last call with a handful of numbers and compliments, but that usually gets me nowhere in the long run. I guess it all depends on whether I am looking for "Ms. Right" or "Ms. Right Now." :sun:

In a situation like that I tend to wonder what kind of women are handing their phone numbers out to a guy who's ripped, unless they themselves are ripped. I'm not saying anything against you. Personally, I find the looking for "Mr. Right" or "Mr. Right Now" scene rather...interesting. I have had numbers passed to me on a napkin, meals bought for me, but like you, this has really not gotten me anywhere in the long run, beyond building a good friendship.

[Towlie]

i was dumped once cuz i was too slow to move on up the ladder, i was trying to be the nice guy

and another of my girlfreinds got mad cuz i didnt wanna move fast enough for her............what a slut......hehe

edit : and no im not a girl and no i didnt anwser yes or no

[taranaki]

Originally posted by darkness
I would have to admit I am one of these guys.

"Nice guys finish last"

I just get nervous. I mean it took me 6 months to work up the courage to ask the last person out.

Nothing to be ashamed of,you will get the relationship you deserve in the end.I did.............

Taranaki's story so far ....

missed opportunities - Hundreds

Successful dates - Two

Successful Relationships - One

Married since - August 02,1986.

[JD@af]

Originally posted by JD@af
In case you are wondering, yes, I have had a couple dates in the last couple years that didn't turn out the way I had wanted, and I am wondering if playing "the nice guy" was what got me the boot. But besides that, I am curious if the women of generation X and generation Y (Y being those born 1977 and later) are more inclined towards having sex without love than culture would have us guys believe. Thanks in advance for your input.

I thought about this some more, and maybe I should elaborate. First, a very wise woman (okay, my mom) mentioned this to me once. She said that in this day and age, some women are fast, want some bootie for the night, and that's about it (I told her surely such a mythical dream for shallow guys (please note sarcasm here) didn't - couldn't - really exist, but she insisted it's the truth). A couple friends also came to this as a possible conclusion when I recounted the events of this one evening to them. And I heard something like this come up as a topic on a talk radio show here in Hartford recently, so it got me really curious.

[Spec2 Girl]

What I would like to know is everyone elses idea of what a long time to make the first move is. I mean are we talking days, weeks, months, etc ??? As that would make a huge difference. I mean you don't want a guy making the moves on you after only a few days, but if you're talking months and months and months, then that's totally different.

[JD@af]

Originally posted by FTO Girl
What I would like to know is everyone elses idea of what a long time to make the first move is. I mean are we talking days, weeks, months, etc ??? As that would make a huge difference. I mean you don't want a guy making the moves on you after only a few days, but if you're talking months and months and months, then that's totally different.

Let's use one month as a baseline time frame for waiting to put a move on (i.e. that is for actual sex, not kissing, etc.).

[Spec2 Girl]

Originally posted by JD@af
Let's use one month as a baseline time frame for waiting to put a move on (i.e. that is for actual sex, not kissing, etc.).

Well I certainly wouldn’t ditch a guy if he hadn’t made a move and it was only a month. For me I’ve always gone with the moment and it’s different with different guys. For example I waited 6 months with my first boyfriend, but with others (not that there have been that many I just want to add ) it has sometimes been weeks, and ahem in other cases, (embarrassed here!), sometimes days.

Hope I didn’t gross anyone out with TMI!!

[JD@af]

Originally posted by FTO Girl
Well I certainly wouldn’t ditch a guy if he hadn’t made a move and it was only a month. For me I’ve always gone with the moment and it’s different with different guys. For example I waited 6 months with my first boyfriend, but with others (not that there have been that many I just want to add ) it has sometimes been weeks, and ahem in other cases, (embarrassed here!), sometimes days.

Hope I didn’t gross anyone out with TMI!!

Not at all.. I like the TMI game. See how far you can push before you embarass, shock, disgust, or nauseate people As for me, I guess I range from.. perhaps 3 weeks to 5 months (zero one night stands). As you said, it all depends on the individual and the circumstances.

[darkness]

last relationship, 4 and a half months before we slept together. the relationship ended up being a year and a half long.

Only relationship I've ever had.