Friday Funnies

[Oz]

Omalley Illness

An Irishman named O'Malley went to his doctor after a long illness.
The doctor sighed and looked O'Malley in the eye and said, "I've some bad news for you. You have cancer, and it can't be cured. You'd best put your affairs in order.
O'Malley was shocked but being a solid character, he managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room, where his son was waiting.
"Well son, we Irish celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer. Let's head to the pub and have a few pints."
After 3 or 4 pints the two were feeling a little less sombre..
There were some laughs and some more beers. They were eventually approached by some of O'Malley's friends, who were curious as to what the two
were celebrating.
O'Malley told them they were drinking to his impending end.He told his friends, "I have been diagnosed with AIDS."
The friends gave O'Malley their condolences, and they had a couple of more beers. After the friends left, O'Malley's son leaned over
and whispered his confusion.

"Dad, I thought you told me that you were dying of cancer,and you just told your friends that you were dying of AIDS!"

O'Malley said, "I don't want any of them sleeping with your Mother after I am gone."

---

Q. What does Princess Diana have in common with Ferrero Rocher chocolates ?
A. They both come out of France in a box.

---

Victoria Beckham has admitted she had an affair with Michael Jackson to get back at her philandering husband.

However Jacko's lawyer denied the claim, saying Mr Jackson could not have had an affair with Posh as he was in Brooklyn at the time.

---

Q.What's the difference between David Beckham and Ferrero Rocher chocolates?
A. David Beckham doesn't come in a posh box anymore.

---

[MBTN]

How do you save Oz from drowning?

You don't.

[2strokebloke]

Victoria Beckham has admitted she had an affair with Michael Jackson to get back at her philandering husband.

However Jacko's lawyer denied the claim, saying Mr Jackson could not have had an affair with Posh as he was in Brooklyn at the time.

I don't get it.

Q.What's the difference between David Beckham and Ferrero Rocher chocolates?
A. David Beckham doesn't come in a posh box anymore.

ewwww. They should like make footnotes for jokes...
Anyway, it's still thursday in this hemisphere, so here's a joke my nephew told me:
Q: What do you call a flying monkey?
A: A hot air baboon.

[Oz]

Originally Posted by MBTN

How do you save Oz from drowning?

You don't.

The correct end to that joke was:
Take your foot off his face.
:

[Damien]

Wow, Oz manage to keept he trend of his bad jokes by dissing MBTN yet he still made fun of himself!!!

Props for Oz!

[oldbluecelica]

hahahaha dude, those are pretty good oz!

[Raz_Kaz]

I got a story
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes - that whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times more or better!"

The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."

The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine." So, KAZAM - she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women can be clever bitches

[YogsVR4]

The first one was pretty good the last ones were

[FireBball972]

[Damien]

Who pposted a story like Raz Kaz's earlier about the neighbor getting more?

"I want one of my balls removed"

[KustmAce]