This must be true 'cause I read it on...

[tonioseven]

The internet!!!

I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of
free M&M's sent to me
because I forwarded their e-mail to five other people,
(celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals)
when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man,
was home recovering from having been served a rat
in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken -
which is predictable, since as everyone knows,
there's no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken,
which is why the government made them change their name to
KFC.
Anyway, one day this friend went to sleep and
when he awoke he was in his bathtub
and it was full of ice and
he was sore all over and when he got out of the tub he realized that

HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN!!!
He saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!"
but he was afraid to use his phone
because it was connected to his computer,
and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive

and infect all the electronics in his house
if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!"
He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer
who was working on software to prevent a global disaster
in which all the computers get together
and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe
under the leadership of Bill Gates.
(It's true - I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES
HIMSELF,
who was also promising me a free Disney World vacation
and $5,000 if
I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)
The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone
to report his missing kidneys,
but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90,
which unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the
guy's
expense.
Then reaching into the coin-return slot
he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle
around which was wrapped around a note that said,
"Welcome to the world of AIDS."
Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital -
the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is,
the one whose last wish is
for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and
the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him
a nickel for every e-mail he receives.
I sent him two e-mails and
one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel
(if you get it and forward it to more than 10 people,
you will have good luck but
for 10 people you will only have OK luck
and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have
BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).
So anyway, the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital,
but on the way he noticed another car driving without its lights on.
To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and
was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation.
Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail and
you will receive 4 green M&Ms,
but if you don't, the owner of Proctor and Gamble
will report you to his Satanist friends
and you will have more bad luck:
you will get cancer from the
Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo,
your wife will develop breast cancer from
using the anti-perspirant which clogs the pores under your arms,
and the U.S. government
will put a tax on your e-mails forever.
I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the
Internet !

[freakray]

summarise....

[kittedb18bt]

worth the read. i was dying when i read the kentucky fried chicken to KFC because of the rat.

[IntegraBoy2003]

wow

[Cl0ak]

Uh strange but sorta funny. Anyway I always wondered if you got stuck with a AIDS needle in your finger, but as soon as you did, cut your finger off, would you still get AIDS?

[DevoutWankelist]

Originally Posted by Cl0ak

Uh strange but sorta funny. Anyway I always wondered if you got stuck with a AIDS needle in your finger, but as soon as you did, cut your finger off, would you still get AIDS?

[Shortbus]

Good find

[castback]

i started reading it. then scolled down and realized i would have to read a lot more. so i had to read it all. i still don't get it

[Shortbus]

Originally Posted by castback

i started reading it. then scolled down and realized i would have to read a lot more. so i had to read it all. i still don't get it

Well its pretty much a combo of every urban legend / spam mail most of us has seen wrapped into one little LOL type post.

I like it, and think it was well done. In fact next time the president of some bank in Nigeria emails me about the millions of dollars I can get by opening or sharing my bank account details with them I will send this post as a reply.

If ya don't get it then you need to spend some more time online my friend. I have heard several variations of all of the above stories, they are just urban legends. It is supposed to be funny... so laugh and be on with yourself.

[Sean]

LOL! A classic.

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2074

[-Davo]

hahahaha that was halarious

[TheNotoriousMogg]

Good one Tonio