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  #1  
Old 04-14-2004, 02:03 PM
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hitman and golfing

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them.
"Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."
Sure," they said, "You're welcome."
So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man," was the reply.
"You're joking!" was the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.
"Here are my tools."
That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his
house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked! What's that? Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her... He's naked as well! That bitch!" He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.Then the neighbor, he's a mate of mine, a bit of a lad, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."
The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.
"Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here..."
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Old 04-14-2004, 02:19 PM
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Re: 2 for 1 deal

hahah now thats funny
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Old 04-14-2004, 03:57 PM
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Now that was funny













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Old 04-14-2004, 04:17 PM
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Re: 2 for 1 deal

heard it before but still great
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Old 04-14-2004, 04:58 PM
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Re: Re: 2 for 1 deal

NICE...
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Old 04-14-2004, 04:58 PM
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Re: 2 for 1 deal

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Old 04-14-2004, 05:47 PM
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Re: 2 for 1 deal

, but saw it coming a mile off.
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Old 04-14-2004, 06:01 PM
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Old 04-14-2004, 06:08 PM
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Re: 2 for 1 deal

Yeah, the "2 for 1" title gave it away, still funny though
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Old 04-14-2004, 07:01 PM
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Re: 2 for 1 deal

eh, i tried renaming the title but not working.
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Old 04-14-2004, 07:19 PM
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aahhhh ha ha ha ha good stuff
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Old 04-14-2004, 10:24 PM
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Re: 2 for 1 deal

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BAH!, went to change my sig and forgot what I was supposed to put here. . .
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Old 04-14-2004, 10:38 PM
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Re: 2 for 1 deal

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Old 04-15-2004, 12:57 AM
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Re: 2 for 1 deal

I like it.

Though he should have brought a Rem700 with him.

Ahem, anyways.
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Old 04-15-2004, 01:28 AM
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Re: 2 for 1 deal

ROFL!!!

I love it!
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