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COMPLETELY off-topic Talk about anything other than cars. But you can't be mad and angry in this forum!
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  #1  
Old 04-13-2004, 01:05 AM
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Burglar!

A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck."

"If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you,
just give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey, I love you, too."
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Old 04-13-2004, 01:15 AM
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Re: Burglar!


Well, did they have vaseline?
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Old 04-13-2004, 01:16 AM
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Re: Burglar!

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Old 04-13-2004, 01:21 AM
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Re: Burglar!

heard it before, still funny
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Old 04-13-2004, 03:59 AM
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repost....
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Old 04-13-2004, 06:11 AM
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Re: Burglar!

didnt see that one coming
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Old 04-13-2004, 09:59 AM
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Re: Burglar!

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Old 04-13-2004, 10:03 AM
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Re: Burglar!

That still makes me laugh every time I hear it.
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Old 04-13-2004, 10:38 AM
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Old 04-13-2004, 11:46 AM
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Re: Burglar!

and here I thought this was going to be a serious post.... I caught a guy last night trying to force my wondow open at around 10:00pm. he had ducked down around the window fence, and soon found himself staring at the barrel of a Glock 21!



but funny joke, sorry to possibly hyjack the thread for a moment.
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Old 04-13-2004, 02:58 PM
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Re: Burglar!

You have a Glock?

I have no respect for you anymore.
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Old 04-14-2004, 12:53 AM
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Hey zebrathree, I know youre antidrug, but whyd you lose respect for the gun thing? Just curious, tryin to get to know people, I'm not sayin which side of the fence im on, just wanna know
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Old 04-14-2004, 02:06 AM
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Re: Burglar!

vaseline 4 the Cinnamon Ring!!!!
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Old 04-14-2004, 02:14 AM
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Re: Burglar!

Oh man that is funny!! LMAO!
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Old 04-14-2004, 03:06 AM
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Re: Burglar!

Quote:
Originally Posted by 91lxdreamer
Hey zebrathree, I know youre antidrug, but whyd you lose respect for the gun thing? Just curious, tryin to get to know people, I'm not sayin which side of the fence im on, just wanna know
Because I don't like Glocks. I am stictly an HK man.
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