If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it

[YogsVR4]

Some new some old. Enjoy


1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

5. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ....they're cramming for their final exam.

17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks , so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?

18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

19. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

[SniperX13]

15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?


well, when I am booking people into the jail, we just put BAL as the hair color.....

most of those I haven't heard so keep them up, they were good.

[Suislide]

22. why do they put the little sticker on the side of tuna cans that says "dolphin friendly"? what about the tuna fish that died to fill that can? why do dolphins have more rights then tuna?!?

[crayzayjay]

Originally Posted by Suislide

22. why do they put the little sticker on the side of tuna cans that says "dolphin friendly"? what about the tuna fish that died to fill that can? why do dolphins have more rights then tuna?!?

I ask myself that same question every day








Actually no wait, i dont

[dayna240sx]

Originally Posted by YogsVR4

9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

Have you ever had a box of oreos that have been exposed in the air for a little while? They turn mushy. Hard things turn mushy when exposed to air, and soft things turn hard when exposed to air...

[Oz]

[tonioseven]

Pure genius!!

[slave]

Originally Posted by dayna240sx

Have you ever had a box of oreos that have been exposed in the air for a little while? They turn mushy. Hard things turn mushy when exposed to air, and soft things turn hard when exposed to air...

See, its NOTHING to do with eroticism at all. Its all about exposing the little bugger to air!!!

[SonyMobile]

Originally Posted by slave

See, its NOTHING to do with eroticism at all. Its all about exposing the little bugger to air!!!

LMAO, Ill have to tell the girlfriend that one!

[lamborghinirocks]

Originally Posted by slave

See, its NOTHING to do with eroticism at all. Its all about exposing the little bugger to air!!!

good one

[Hyatus]

17&18 are the best, toothpicks hahahhha

[replicant_008]

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

Try drinking the water in parts of South East Asia or Polynesia and discovering the consequences thereof. After occupying myself considering which end of my body had the greatest imminent need to use the toilet bowl believe me when folk say 'Don't drink the water...' And you don't want to know what a public toilet backpacking in Indonesia (or come to think of it in France) looks and smells like...

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

Diarrhea is a leading cause of malnutrition and illness in the third world. See also 1.

14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

Sir Thomas Lipton was English - so they'd stop for morning and afternoon tea...

17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks , so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?

I thought they simply breast fed them...

20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Or have to teach someone else to drive...

[YogsVR4]

Originally Posted by replicant_008

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

Try drinking the water in parts of South East Asia or Polynesia and discovering the consequences thereof. After occupying myself considering which end of my body had the greatest imminent need to use the toilet bowl believe me when folk say 'Don't drink the water...' And you don't want to know what a public toilet backpacking in Indonesia (or come to think of it in France) looks and smells like...

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

Diarrhea is a leading cause of malnutrition and illness in the third world. See also 1.

And I bet the people in the third world nations have issues with paying $2 for anything.

14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

Sir Thomas Lipton was English - so they'd stop for morning and afternoon tea...

So do they call them coffee breaks or not?

17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks , so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?

I thought they simply breast fed them...

I'll ask my mother-in-law.

20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Or have to teach someone else to drive...

Good point

[crayzayjay]

Originally Posted by YogsVR4

So do they call them coffee breaks or not?

Why would it be called a coffee break if theyre having tea



they call it 'tea'. as in, "whats for tea, mama" <- if they're really posh

[YogsVR4]

Originally Posted by crayzayjay

Why would it be called a coffee break if theyre having tea



they call it 'tea'. as in, "whats for tea, mama" <- if they're really posh

So there is no coffee for the tea makers - thats to bad