The "School of Rice-Boy Studies" is now open for buisness...

[kris]

RCM101 - Introductory Rice-Math

An introductory course to help students gain an insite on how to come up with rediculus HP gains based on "advertised" HP numbers. Upon completion the student will be able to provide accurate HP estimates from all his mods without any actual dyno testing.
This course is a prerequisite to RCM202, Advanced Rice-Boy Math.


RCT102 - Introductory Rice-Boy Trends

This course will bring the student up to speed on the latest "rice-trends" in the industry. Upon completion the student will no longer be guessing at what color he should be painting his wiper arms, what performance enhancing stickers he should be using and where to apply them, and how many wings should he show up with at his regular hangout in order to achive the "greatest effect".


RCF103 - Rice-Boy Material Science

This course will provide the student with the necessary knowledge and skills to be able to select the most appropriate materials for his modifications. Upon completion the student will be able to distinguish the various kinds of cardboards, tinfoils and dryerhoses specific to his applications. This course is a prerequisite to RCF203.


RCF203 - Rice-Boy Fabrication and Shop

This hands-on course is one of the most popular. The student will be shown how to fabricate various modifications for his car. Upon completion the student will be able to use many simple and cheap household items to create serious HP gaining and aesthetically pleasing modifications for his car. RCF103 is a prerequisite for this course.


RCE101 - Introductory Rice-English
This course will provide the basic knowledge you'll need to interact with fellow riceboys, speed shop salesmen and other students. Imroper grammar, punctuation and misplaced capitalization are all stressed as this is an introductory course


RCE201 - Advanced Rice-Enlish

This course is designed to take you beyond the basic communication skills and teach the rice-boy how to communicate with police officers (week 8 is dedicated to avoiding tickets for too much tint/lowering/noise), judges and parents (week 10 is devoted to learning how to explain to parents the practical application of a 6 foot supra wing, chopped springs and the like). An important part of the curriculum here at Riceboy U, even if you plan on majoring in the sciences.


RCE403 - Graduate studies in Rice-English*

This course looks at the theoretical applications of Rice English in everyday life. How many times should 'y0' be used in a sentence? is it propper to brag about 21 inch chrome wheels on the first date. Due to in-depth study of language and pronunciation, its advised that this course only be taken by Rice-Enlish majors.


* course restricted


RME101 - Rice Boy Magazine Racing

RME101 prepares you for the world by repetive memorization of vehicle performance statistics as provided by hundreds of auto publications. You will be able to quickly and effectively counter any discussion of vehicle performance by rapidly reciting quoted stats from various sources. We're proud this year to have Car and Driver as a major sponsor for this course and their publication will be the focal point of the course.
Those students wishing to branch further should inquire about our newest course: RCR101: Rice Boy Consumer Reports Magazine.

RCR101 prepares the student to quickly know the reliability and durability of any vehicle and when matched with RMR101 fully prepares the student for any verbal debate on any vehicle subject. From HP/L ratios, to factory recalls you'll be prepared for the challenges ahead!


RCC205 - Rice-Boy Communication Skills

This advanced course will provide the student with an indepth knowledge of "ghetto talk". Upon completion the student will know what words to use to sound like a badass ghetto boy, even if he is a fukn pussy willow. He we also understand the effective use of alternating caps lock, and single letter words, so he can appear to be a much bigger badass then he really is when posting messages in internet forums. RCE101 and RCE102 are a prerequisite for this course


RD101 - Introductory Roadmanship for Riceboys
A begenning course covering aspects of daily driving. Topics will start with proper "thug" style seating position and move into techniques for revving your engine at stop lights, rocking the car back and forth, and the ever popular method of attracting "chicks" by reflecting sunlight off the chrome pieces of your car into thier eyes as a conversation lead in. Finally, aspects of using your stereo for maximum effect will be covered.

RD102 - Intermidiate Roadmanship for Riceboys

The followup to RD101 will cover actual techniques to use while the car is in motion such as not bottoming while driving with cut springs, "the flyby", "tailgating", "hazards" and the ever popular "gratuitous wheelspin".

RD103 - Advanced Roadmanship for Riceboys

The final course in the roadmanship series will cover such advanced topics such as weaving through traffic and the ever popular "burnout". The RD103 course has a large application component where the candidate will be required to demonstrate "m4d sK1llz", first vs the easier "V8" class of vehicles and then against fellow riceboys in the ultimate test of "w1ck3d f4st y0".

[SkylinesKillAll]

heres an idea, y dont u put up another topic of making fun of rice ppl. i cant wait for someone to post about sr20des are fucking slow and have no after market.

[kris]

Oh but they are so slow, man, I cant go worth shit, and I cant even find parts worth a damn.

[enzo@af]

RBP363 Rice Boy Psych
This course will aid in relations with those who were traumatized after being beaten by a civic and now have obsessive compulsive disorder resulting in repeated postings of asinine topics. Upon completeion, students will be able to point and laugh at the guy making fun of their sticker who also proudly sports a cartoon picture of his car (also covered in stickers).

[kris]

Im not specifically talking about a civic. Honestly, I have never had a serious race with one either. The drawing on my sig happens to be a drawing of a real BTCC race car. Not of a civic pasted with stickers from manufacturers of equipment not even on the car. Also, why is my opinion asnine, this is just what I see around town.

[GOD]

Ok boys and girls calm down before i have to lay the smack down on someone here :stormzap:

[John98R/T]

Hey lets all calm down, first off this is a good original article writen here. Also if this article offends you in any way either you own a ricer, or you are just to goddamn sensitive. For gods sake chill out, its words, only words, if you dont like them close your eyes. And again kudos to kbslacker for a funny original article.
Peace....

This one goes out to all the ricers....

[Porsche]

Ya, I also though it was pretty good. I liked Enzo's better though.

[SkylinesKillAll]

ok for one i have a g20 and its slow as fuck. so u there. also u could easily go out and buy a honda civic si or a vw jetta for the same price with atleast 20 more hp. then u can go to any import store and buy parts for em instead of haiving to order then speically or search for hours on here to fine soemthing decent. its so much easier to make a vw or honda quicker than a g20 so

[John98R/T]

So Skylineskillall its come to this....name calling, huh? Yeah well thats mature, i suppose. Here is a novel idea, how about instead of flipping people off, you make a good point in your comments? Now that would be refreshing.
Toodles Kids....
:bandit:

[SkylinesKillAll]

how did i not make a valid point u can ask any car guy what kinda car is easier to mod a honda or a infiniti and any sane person will tell u honda. its jus how it is

[kris]

Im sorry, as much as I would like to, I will not call bullshit on that. This is not a post on the availability of parts for a car. I guess it can be. Yes there is not a mass production of parts like for a Honduh, but what does this prove. Why would any sane person say a honduh, just because you can go to the grocery store and buy parts? Name one thing for a honduh, and it is there for a Infiniti G20. Now Im talking true performane bolt ons, wether it be suspension, or motor.

[kris]

Originally posted by SkylinesKillAll
ok for one i have a g20 and its slow as fuck. so u there. also u could easily go out and buy a honda civic si or a vw jetta for the same price with atleast 20 more hp. then u can go to any import store and buy parts for em instead of haiving to order then speically or search for hours on here to fine soemthing decent. its so much easier to make a vw or honda quicker than a g20 so

Shit, I was reading through some old posts. If you really do hava G20, I found the main reason why your ass is slow. Get rid of the 4 subs and all the stereo equipment. Damn, I belive you now, You must be slow as hell. That must weigh a good amount.

[johnny]

lol

[enzo@af]

In my opinion, Rice seems to have broadened into also covering poor taste.