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COMPLETELY off-topic Talk about anything other than cars. But you can't be mad and angry in this forum!
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  #1  
Old 02-09-2004, 07:23 PM
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10 Top Things to do to relatives when visiting:

Give the children a toy cellphone each with either an incredibly realistic ring or an earpiercing and repetitive one. Replace the regular batteries with lithium long life ones to ensure weeks of enjoyment

Bring the bloke a bottle of overproof rum and the lady a bottle of gin - instigate an excuse for drinking and settle down to watch the fireworks

Give nice gifts to all but one of the children

Take the kids for a walk, buy them sweets, ice-cream and lots of soda pop (extra points if you give them Red Bull) and then take them for a run - especially in the evening just before dinner

Before eating ask if the meal is a) low sodium b) gluten free c) No MSG - especially good if you are of Asian ethnicity d) Kosher/Halal - refuse to eat the meal if any of the above are not fulfulled

Subject them to a five hour unedited video taken without the use of a tripod of your recent travels especially good if you've been sailing in foul weather recently and if you have followed point three and invite the kids to watch

Spill Red Wine on the carpet, drop chilli or salsa on the fabric couch, start the morning with kippers on toast

Drink all of the expensive alcohol and replace with no-name generic spirit, beer or nothing at all

Walk around in the greyest underwear with the most holes you can find and a even greyer bathrobe held together by lint alone - ensure it sheds lint everywhere. And don't bother shaving (and that's for guys and gals)...

Argue with your hosts about politics and religion - always take the side of the male, no matter what the subject. Finish argument with... "Nope, should never have given them the vote..."
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Old 02-09-2004, 07:30 PM
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Those are pretty good.
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Old 02-09-2004, 07:31 PM
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Re: 10 Top Things to do to relatives when visiting:

Now they're just plain cruel!
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Old 02-09-2004, 07:35 PM
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u forgot to always bring up the "remember when (blank) did....."

and to always spike any and all open drinks
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Old 02-09-2004, 08:13 PM
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This reminds me of that one episode of punk'd where they pulled a prank on Nick and Jessica...
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Old 02-09-2004, 08:19 PM
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Re: 10 Top Things to do to relatives when visiting:

Quote:
Give nice gifts to all but one of the children
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Old 02-09-2004, 09:05 PM
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Re: 10 Top Things to do to relatives when visiting:

Let's all go stay at Uncle Rep's place for a while
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Old 02-09-2004, 09:14 PM
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Re: Re: 10 Top Things to do to relatives when visiting:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spec2 Girl
Now they're just plain cruel!
Its true, we should never have allowed them to vote....

lol, nice post matey.
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Old 02-09-2004, 11:49 PM
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Old 02-10-2004, 12:02 AM
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Re: Re: Re: 10 Top Things to do to relatives when visiting:

Quote:
Originally Posted by slave
Its true, we should never have allowed them to vote....

lol, nice post matey.
wait, I thought you were a chick.
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Old 02-10-2004, 12:23 AM
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Re: Re: Re: Re: 10 Top Things to do to relatives when visiting:

Quote:
Originally Posted by originalmike
wait, I thought you were a chick.
He's just a bit confused at the moment Mike, I dont think he knows what he is...
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Old 02-10-2004, 12:30 AM
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Those are good!!
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Old 02-10-2004, 12:31 AM
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 10 Top Things to do to relatives when visiting:

Quote:
Originally Posted by J_Swigz
He's just a bit confused at the moment Mike, I dont think he knows what he is...
Priscilla,Queen Of The Desert?
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  #14  
Old 02-10-2004, 12:36 AM
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Re: 10 Top Things to do to relatives when visiting:

so is slave a chick or guy because now im all confused?
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Old 02-10-2004, 01:03 AM
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 10 Top Things to do to relatives when visiting:

Quote:
Originally Posted by taranaki
Priscilla,Queen Of The Desert?
You left out an S, thats dessert, because Im hungry. yeah, am I a dude or a chick, am I Gav or am I Zoe? lmfao.
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