I hate it when you ask a girl out, and she says maybe...

[kublah]

Seriously, what's up with that? Like she doesn't know whether she'd go out with me or not. I thought this was supposed to stop happening after high school...

If I ask a girl out, I either want to walk away completely elated with new knowledge that I actually might not be such a loser after all, or get totally shot down and suddenly be cast back into the reality of knowing that I'll still be pleasuring myself for an indefinite portion of the upcoming future. Leaving with the same lingering uncertainty that I had before scraping together the guts to ask someone out just blows.

I'm sure someone would tell me that "maybe" means the same thing in the adult world as it did way back when most of us first heard it. As in, "I know I'm never going to go out with you but I'm not quite mature enough to give it to you straight", but I'd like to think that this isn't the case. Foolish?

So now I have to make sure I've still got my cojones in order and do it all over again. Except this time I've got to do all the behind-the-scenes preparation work involved with something like a first date without even knowing if it's going to happen or not. After all, it's not like you can win over uncertainty with a proposition of something really lame and uninteresting. The pressure is stacked up even higher than before, and while what could be gained if all goes well remains the same as before, a little bit more could be lost if it does not.

[Hyatus]

I've found that if you become friends with a girl first and meet all of her friends,plus a little paitience(sp) she will usually make the first move I've never had a girl i ask out say no or maybe

P.S. just be honest and funny and they will love you forever

[taranaki]

Iguess I'm lucky. I only ever had one girl say 'maybe' to me,and I never really had any say 'no'.The downside is that when 'maybe' turned into 'well,o.k. then',that was the last chance I ever had to ask a girl out.She was the first ,last and only girl Iever dated.Makes me feel sometimes that I robbed myself of something.A little bit more uncertainty,and a little bit more rejection, might have just taught me a little bit more about the opposite gender.

[zebrathree]

Just tell her to fuck off.

I hate indecision.

[TexasF355F1]

When women say 'maybe' they really mean 'no'. That's their strange but polite way of saying no.

[BlaxicanYIIK]

I guess you did not have enough money with you at the time. I dunno. I've noticed that there are more and more women who liked to play games and/or godldiggers in some way or fashion.

[BP2K2Max]

she's just trying to politely say no without hurting your feelings. don't get mad, at least you didn't get laughed at. and at least you have the nerve to initiate the conversation.

[Neutrino]

I agree "Maybe" is ussualy just a polite "No"


Of course the most common refusals are "I'm too busy." which translates in No and "Some other time." which translates in Never


Actually anything besides "Yes" or "Sure! What time would you pick me up" is a refusal.


IMO the most anoying is when they want you to rechedule. Which is just another "NO!!! but do please waste more time on my account".

[SonyMobile]

Originally Posted by TexasF355F1

When women say 'maybe' they really mean 'no'. That's their strange but polite way of saying no.

Couldnt have said it better myself, but like other ppl have been saying, If you befriend her first, your less likely to get shot down.

[crayzayjay]

Never happened to me, but if a girl gave me a lame "maybe", i'd just reply "well if you have to think about it, forget it", turn around and walk away.
If she thinks she's really hurting you by saying no, she'll feel sorry for you. Pity is not a good thing when trying to get a girl. And she doesnt want to be convinced to go out with you (unless it's a close friend or other exceptional circusmtances), you're not trying to be a salesman here. Basically, if you grovel, she'll never go out with you. If you're nonchalant about it and shrug it off, it may have the opposite effect. She may 1) be surprised, and 2) regret the passed opportunity and chase after you. I know, an ex did that to me and it worked like a charm
or 3) she's glad you didnt make a big deal out of it, and you dont lose too much pride.

[Masta]

wow crayzayjay, lol i like that one! i'll try that next time i ask this one girl i like to hangout again.

[kublah]

Well, I agree with you guys for the most part, as much as I hate to admit it. We met under some kind of strange circumstances and have little to tie us together besides that, so I don't really see myself becoming her friend first and waiting around to see what happens. Pretty much an all or nothing situation. But seeing as I meet very few women that I'm even remotely interested in these days, I think I'd be doing myself a disservice to not at least giving it one more shot. If I hear the "I'm really busy this week" line I'm gone, but it's not like I really have anthing to lose.

I really suck at all this... Maybe I should just get myself a nice Russian mail order bride and be done with it all... None of them have ever said maybe to a dude with a green card around his ring finger and 50 gazillion rubles in the bank...

[crayzayjay]

No way! Mail order brides are not the way to go!!

If you're not meeting enough women youre clearly not going to the right places, so make an effort to change where you hang out and you should find more potential partners there.

[kublah]

I know, I was just being stupid...

[Jay!]

Women can't say 'no.' They'll lead you on and break dates and screw around with you until you get fed up and leave them alone. They'll always say maybe.

These girls aren't interested in you, so don't waste your time. Jay's got the exact right answer here. If she says 'maybe' it means no, so thank her and take off.