smart remarks

[burnM]

I got these off the board at work, I just hope they're not a repost in here. Oh, and if the Mods find them inappropriate, please take them down.


1-I can see your point, but I still think you're full of s**t
2-I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce
3-How about never? Is never good for you?
4-I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public
5-I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way
6-I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter
7-I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message
8-I don't work here, I'm a consultant
9-It sounds like english, but I can't understand a word you're saying
10-Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited again
11-I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid
12-You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers
13-I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14-I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth
15-I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you
16-Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17-The fact that no-one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist
18-Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental
19-What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20-I'm not being rude, You're just insignificant
21-It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off
22-Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial
23-And your crybaby whiny-arse opinion would be...?
24-Do I look like a people person?
25-This isn't an office. It's Hell with flourescent lighting
26-I started out with nothing and still have most of it left
27-Sarcasm is just one more service that we offer
28-If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29-Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30-Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed
31-I'm trying to imagine you with a personality
32-A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door
33-Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34-Too many freaks, not enough circuses
35-Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36-Chaos, panic, & disorder 3/4 of my work here is done
37-How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38-I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks

[crayzayjay]

Regular user of #3

[goat_launcher]

Thanks burnM. This list really helps engage my second career as a professional asshole and shit talker

[YogsVR4]

Its been through before but a long time ago. They're definatley worth seeing again.

[TexasF355F1]

I don't believe I've seen them. But they're great and all so true.

[burnM]

I like #13 & #24 the best

[oldbluecelica]

damn, I should put that in my bio

[jcz1987]

I like #9 and #20.

[chicago_guy]

Haha, those are pretty good.

[LostInth3StaRs]

hell, i like all of em....perfect for those annoying ppl