If Operating Systems were Airlines

[Oz]

DOS AIR: All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it until it gets in the air, hop on, and jump off when it hits the ground again. Then they grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop on, etcetera.

WINDOWS AIRLINES: The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants are all very attractive and the pilots very capable. The fleet is immense. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above the clouds, and at 20,000 feet it explodes without warning.

MAC AIRWAYS: Tickets are expensive. The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the same, feel the same and act the same. When asked questions about the flight they reply that you don't want to know, don't need to know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.

LINUX EXPRESS: Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box of tools to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it together. Eventually, they build several different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some passengers actually reach their destinations. All passengers believe they got there.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

Windows Air

Pilot somehow stalls the plane during taxi, and has to hold down the "No Smoking" sign switch, the Fire Extinguisher #1 Engine switch, and turn the Engine Start switch all at the same time to restart. Passengers are regularly interogated as to what there details are during the flight to ensure no freeloaders.

[eversio11]

Originally Posted by Oz

LINUX EXPRESS: Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box of tools to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it together. Eventually, they build several different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some passengers actually reach their destinations. All passengers believe they got there.

That last line made it all worth it

[Spec2 Girl]

hahaha nice!

[Cl0ak]

Originally Posted by Oz

Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

So true, its like a chain reaction.

[Neutrino]

LOL so true

[jcz1987]

LOL!!!!

[97civiclx]

those are so awesome. i havent laughed that hard in a long time