Ordering pizza in 2010

[CZ-R]

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it"

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?"

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it."

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics.

[Fireinthesky28]

How'd you come up with this?

Sounds like a cross between 1984 and The Fifth Element

[chicago_guy]

No no no...thats more like Demolition Man...that movie where Stallone gets frozen in the 90s and then unfrozen in like 2070....theres a nation-wide system that wont let you do anything thats bad for you and they wont let you cuss and so on. That was the worst movie I have ever seen.

[Haibane]

Wow... sad... Good thing we won't be doing anything like that in the future

[taranaki]

Beautiful.

This is the future,read it and weep.

[publicenemy137]

^ yep. Except instead of telling the national id numbers, you'll have lil chips on your wrist that will be scanned meaning you can't fraud anything.

[Steel]

Originally Posted by publicenemy137

^ yep. Except instead of telling the national id numbers, you'll have lil chips on your wrist that will be scanned meaning you can't fraud anything.

Over my dead body.

[stupidsm]

Nah some sort of voice recognition, you could hack the chip!

[carguyinok]

That's so close to being true it's not even funny. Look at your social security number. You know that card that say's it for you and the GOV.\IRS only. Yet some how we allow it to be or tracking number for everything
Anyway, that was funny in an odd kind of way

[stupidsm]

I choose not to think about that kinda stuff. I figure I will deal with it when it comes. Ignorance is bliss.

[integra818]

I'll be dead by the time shit like that happens. I'm GLAD I'll be dead by the time shit like that happens.

[stupidsm]

yeah, so will I. And if not I'm moving to some island some where.

[chicago_guy]

They will find you....no matter where you go they will find you...lol.

[stupidsm]

Lol, damn the man!

[Sean]

Not if I go hide under a rock on Inaccessible Island! They'll never find me there!