No Nursing Home For Me!

[tonioseven]

With the average cost for a nursing home per day reaching
$188.00, there is a better way when we get old & feeble.
I have ascertained that I can get a nice room at the Holiday Inn
for around $65.00...that leaves $123.00 a day for beer, food
(room service), laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. They
have a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc.
Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
Super 8 is somewhat more economical and they have a free
breakfast, though you usually have to walk next door for lunch and dinner.
There may be a bit of a wait to get that first floor room, but that's OK,
it takes months to get into decent nursing homes. There is the Senior
Bus, the Handicap bus (if you fake a decent limp), a Church bus or van,
cabs, and even a regular bus. For a change of lunch take the Airport
Bus and eat at one of the fast food cafe's there. The Inn has security,
and if someone sees you drop over, they will call an ambulance.
And should you break a hip, the American Way is to sue. What more can
you ask for?

As a bonus, they all have AARP and other Senior discounts.

So: When I reach that time, help me keep my grin Just check
my old rickety butt into the nearest Holiday Inn!

[taranaki]

Your booking has been made,starting next week.

[TheNotoriousMogg]

ha good one Tony

[freakray]

Originally Posted by taranaki

Your booking has been made,starting next week.

That's nice of you Naki, you made a reservation for Tonio at your hotel so you guys can have rooms in the same place

[YogsVR4]

Now that’s more good thinking

[jon@af]

I wish I'd thought of that.

[tonioseven]

Originally Posted by freakray

That's nice of you Naki, you made a reservation for Tonio at your hotel so you guys can have rooms in the same place

C'mon now Ray, your room will be just down the hall! I feel the makings of an AF championship shuffleboard/bingo team!!

[freakray]

Originally Posted by tonioseven

C'mon now Ray, your room will be just down the hall! I feel the makings of an AF championship shuffleboard/bingo team!!

Whatcha trying to say Pops?

[KatWoman]

I have dibs on a room with parking right in front of my door

[taranaki]

Originally Posted by KatWoman

I have dibs on a room with parking right in front of my door

You're booking way in advance there,sweetie!....Perhaps you can have the best room-with parking once I've passed away and they've cleared my collection of smut out of the bedside locker.


In the meantime,there is an opportunity for you at the nursing home,as long as you can lay your hands on a short white nurses' uniform and a rubber chicken.....

[grimmy]

rubber chicken? is that what you kiwis call a suppository?

[integra818]

Wow tonioseven, you have everything already planned out!!!

[HogieGT-R]

hell i'm there man i'm scared to death of nursing homes, but that works out man...you forgot the canasta though..and yes i want the room closest to the breakfast buffet.....

[HogieGT-R]

oh yeah and to add another thing...i think that i'll have all y'all beat in bingo

[moondog]

That's not a bad idea I may just have to remember that one - except of course that by then I won't be able to remember.