Kids are dangerous

[TheNotoriousMogg]

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.

For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.


An anonymous mother wrote this from Austin, Texas.

Things I've learned from my children (honest & no kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4
deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman
cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint
on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using
a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you
get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a
ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too
late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year
old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they
do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like
ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade...true story: The day
the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to
her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying
to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...And so the
pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon
me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher
paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One
little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said...'Holy sh_t! A
talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

[zebrathree]

Re no.25.....maybe if I knew what Clorox is.....

[freakray]

Originally posted by zebrathree
Re no.25.....maybe if I knew what Clorox is.....

bleach.....Clorox is a brand name....

[zebrathree]

Thanks Ray, I'll post the results on sunday, the day I perform a Great Scientific Experiment That Will Benifit All Mankind.

[ac427cpe]

spray on sunscreen is flamable
i must try this smoke making..... if i do i'll post pics

[freakray]

Wow, that #25 is accurate, of 3 people that posted here, 2 are going to try it......that is pretty much the 60% covered

[zebrathree]

Anything for science!

[Raging Bull]

WOW a home made smoke bomb rite there!!!

RB

[dayna240sx]

so whats the % of women that will try it. I'm sure as hell going to. It sounds fun...

[TheNotoriousMogg]

Originally posted by dayna240sx
so whats the % of women that will try it. I'm sure as hell going to. It sounds fun...

good do it before I get home then PM me and let me know how it went...with pics

[94SolGrl]

I've done it (3rd grade... sooo much trouble). Keep away from the smoke.. it burns. Don't do it inside. Makes funky marks on floors.. And if you wanna be REALLY cool, get a pipe and two caps. Glue one cap on one end, let dry. Pour bleach in to halfway up or so. Drop in brake fluid. Put other cap on. Hold down. Shake. Throw... BOOM. Homemade pipe bomb. I kid you not.

[YogsVR4]

Sending this information off to my wife to add to the "reasons not to have kids" column.

[speediva]

Dammit, no bleach in the house. Wonder which weight of brake fluid works best... Got lots of DOT4, but maybe DOT3 is better... hmmmmm

[trevolutionist]

Originally posted by 94SolGrl
I've done it (3rd grade... sooo much trouble). Keep away from the smoke.. it burns. Don't do it inside. Makes funky marks on floors.. And if you wanna be REALLY cool, get a pipe and two caps. Glue one cap on one end, let dry. Pour bleach in to halfway up or so. Drop in brake fluid. Put other cap on. Hold down. Shake. Throw... BOOM. Homemade pipe bomb. I kid you not.

Holy shit! Are you serious? God damn I'm bringing this up at the club meeting tonight. Will take pictures if we do it and will post them tonight! this is great

[94SolGrl]

it works better if you take a chlorine tab, like for a pool, and drop it in a pipe half full of brake fluid... and no, weight doesn't matter. The pipe bomb is very fun to throw at the ground in front of ricers with lime green cars... satisfying watching that lime green paint drip off....




*author's note... I have never participated in the sliming of ricey cars and will not be held responsible for any events that mimic what I am saying.