Forms of government revisited

[YogsVR4]

SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes one and gives it to someone else.
COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you milk.

FASCISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you the milk.

NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREACRACY:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, kills one and spills the milk in the sewage system.

CAPITALISM:
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

HONG KONG CAPITALISM:
You have 2 cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then you execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows. The milk rights are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7 cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns 8 cows, with an option to purchase one more. Meanwhile, you kill the 2 cows because the feng shui is bad.

SINGAPORE DEMOCRACY:
You have 2 cows. The government fines you for keeping 2 unlicensed animals in an apartment.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY:
The government promises to give you 2 cows if you vote for them. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".

BRITISH DEMOCRACY:
You have 2 cows. You feed them sheep's brain and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

RUSSIAN DEMOCRACY:
You are still queuing for the first cow.

IRAQI DEMOCRACY:
You cannot inspect the 2 cows.

MALAYSIAN DEMOCRACY:
The cows are now controlled from grazing and you are jailed for being unfit to rear cows.

JAPANESE DEMOCRACY:
You have 2 cows. You give the milk for gangsters so they don't ask awkward questions about whom you are giving the milk to

[taranaki]

NEW ZEALAND DEMOCRACY
You have two cows,the government taxes you because they fart.