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#1
07-17-2003, 04:28 AM
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Council Complaint Letters
Meh, send me money if it's a repost.
These are genuine clips from Council Complaint letters, here are some extracts: * My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it. * He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore. * It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow. * I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off. * I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage. * And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence. * I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off. * My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand? * I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall. * Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. * I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy. * I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers. * The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared. * Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink. * Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces. * I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me. * The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous. * Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it. * I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night. * Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife. * I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction. * This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.
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#3
07-17-2003, 10:02 AM
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#6
07-17-2003, 11:59 PM
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hahahah that is bloody brillant!
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You don't own a Skyline, then don't cry to me about it! 1992 Silver R32 GTR tickled to 450hp. - Sold when I left NZ in 2004 Arguing on the Internet is like competing in the special olympics. Even if you win, you're still retarded. Never confuse kindess with weakness. AF user guidelines, Please remember to abide by them  
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#7
07-18-2003, 12:07 AM
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 I'm laughing so hard I have tears coming out my nose, my sides hurt and there is no way I can explain how funny that was!!! Thanks very much!
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Wait a minute, you mean to say a bottle of pop is bigger than your engine?? "Pain is weakness leaving your body" There is NO replacement, for displacement... 2007 Kawasaki ZX10-R S.E. 
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#8
07-18-2003, 04:12 AM
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 Great laugh !!!
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Current Build.....1/12 Scale Camaro......Almost finished!!!    View All My Models Here.
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#9
07-18-2003, 11:48 AM
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Those were even better than the Church Bulletin Bloopers!!!
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Like a boy - but BETTER! 2005 Subaru Forester 2.5X 1997 Honda Civic EX Coupe Inform yourself: AF User Guidelines
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