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| COMPLETELY off-topic Talk about anything other than cars. But you can't be mad and angry in this forum! |
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#1
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Who Died the Worst Death?
Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven.
However, St. Peter has been informed that Heaven will only admit 33% of applicants today. The admissions standard: Who died the worst death? So, St. Peter takes each of the three men aside in turn and asks them about how they died. First man: "I'd been suspecting for a long time that my wife was cheating on me. I decided to come home early from work one afternoon and check to see if I could catch her in the act. When I got back to my apartment, I heard the water running. My wife was in the shower. I looked everywhere for the guy, but couldn't find anyone or any trace that he had been there. The last place I looked was out on the balcony. I found the bastard hanging from the edge, trying to get back in! So I started jumping up and down on his hands, and he yelled, but he didn't fall. So I ran inside and got a hammer, and crushed his fingers with it until he fell twenty-five floors screaming in agony. But the fall didn't kill the asshole. He landed in some bushes! So I dragged the refirgerator from the kitchen (it weighed about a ton), pulled it to the balcony, and hurled it over the edge. It landed right on the guy and killed him. But then I felt so horrible about what I had done, I went back into the bedroom and shot myself." St. Peter nodded slowly as the man recounted the story. Then, telling the first man to wait, he took the second aside. Second man: "I lived on the twenty-seventh floor of this apartment building. I had just purchased this book on morning exercises and was practicing them on my balcony, enjoying the sunshine, when I lost my balance and fell off the edge. Luckily, I only fell about two floors before grabbing another balcony and holding on for dear life. I was trying to pull myself up when this guy came running onto what must have been his balcony and started jumping up and down on my hands. I screamed in pain, but he seemed really irate. When he finally stopped, I tried to pull myself up again, but he came out with a hammer and smashed my fingers to a pulp! I fell, and I thought I was dead, but I landed in some bushes. I couldn't believe my second stroke of luck, but it didn't last. The last thing I saw was this enormous refrigerator falling from the building down on top of me and crushing me." St. Peter comforted the man, who seemed to have several broken bones. Then he told him to wait, and turned to the third man. Third man: "Picture this. You're hiding, naked, in a refrigerator..."
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Formerly known as De$i Gank$ta ![]() Current Status:100% New Project:Audi Chop Currently Working On:Nothing Current Mods: Everythings done Link:Click Here |
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#2
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im a noob |
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#3
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I liked that one De$i
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#4
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that was a good one.
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Co-Founder of AF V-Card Club 1999 Ford Mustang Cobra: Cobra R rims, Magnaflow CB. "no way man...i saw an LS1 fight godzilla and the LS1 beat godzilla and it looked in the air and was like what do you think of that god and god was like bring it bitch so they fought and the LS1 beat god now the LS1 is god because its the greatest thing ever." |
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#5
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This is the your best to date
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Resistance Is Futile (If < 1ohm) |
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#6
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![]() (\__/) (='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your (")_(") signature to help him gain world domination |
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#7
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i'v heard it before, however it is still a really good one.
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--------------------------------------------------- My signature line. |
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#8
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ROFLMAO
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#9
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Quote:
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JDM IS NOT LHD My other car's a Porsche, but today I'm in a hurry. |
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#10
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Old.
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Quote:
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#11
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FUNNY, more jokes plz
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"i told you it was third, I lengthen the injector pulse another millisec and tuned the NOS timer, and you'll run nines" --2OF9-- (DSM team specialist) ;D #808/1000 |
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#12
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Quote:
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--------------------------------------------------- My signature line. |
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#13
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That joke was badass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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SAVING FOR A COBRA! |
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#14
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good joke ha ha .nice one de$i keep em comin'
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#15
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Heard it before :
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Check out my Pride and joy in AF- and discuss your favourite Alfa Romeo ![]() 2007 Audi A4 3.0 TDI Le Mans |
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