A letter to the Constabulary

[replicant_008]

To the members of the Constabulary of Auckland

You know lads, it’s not that I don’t admire the crappy job that you have to do. I for one wouldn’t even contemplate a career dealing with the crime wielding scum of the earth, having to deal with the victims of irrational violent crimes, the domestic disputes, the death of children and the grisly reality of accidental death. You have my utmost respect for majority of the work you do - it ain’t pretty but it is a necessity of the course of human nature.

However, I think you really need to consider a slight change in priorities. In the past eight weeks, you have stopped me ten times as I been driving. Mainly to administer random breath testing at road blocks but also on four occasions you have followed me, stopped my vehicle and then spent five to ten minutes checking my details, requesting me to produce my licence, checking my warrant and registration, asking who owns my vehicle, asking me why my address isn’t on my licence, breathalysing me and essentially giving yourselves a power-trip as you have wasted my time and yours.

Okay, I perhaps didn’t do myself any favours by the time of the evening that I choose to drive my car. However, on each occasion that you have chosen to stop me I have noticed that it only happens when I dress with my baseball cap and my football jumper.

You see I'm fairly observant too - and it’s a bit transparent that I have never been stopped when I have worn my work clobber consisting of suit and tie. I know I look pretty young for my age especially when I’m in casual gear and I drive a sporty looking red European sedan. But despite preferring to wander outside of work in a football jumper and a cap and apparently looking like a street racer - I’m actually, for the most part a fairly mild mannered mid-thirties senior manager.

Sure I’ve had my share of speeding fines but that was several years ago and I’ve reformed a lot since then. I’ve also completed course of advanced driving by folk who trained your trainers and I have a better idea than most about laws of physics and dynamic forces associated with grip and roadholding. Blame years of sitting around racetracks setting up suspension settings.

And the car is mine - paid for it myself out of my hard earned savings and not out of a student loan or by using my student fees. And although I spend a lot of my time out in the evenings, it’s my lifestyle choice and so is my clothing.

You see I had contemplated changing my mode of dress, losing the baseball cap, going for polo shirts and swapping the jeans and trainers for chinos and boat shoes - maybe even swapping the car for some anonymous white Falcodore or a Camry so I wouldn’t have to go through this pointless exercise once or even twice a week.

I even contemplated changing my lifestyle and not spending my time catching up with my friends in hospo and spending my evening glued in front of the idiot box watching 35 channels of tripe.

But then it struck me that I haven’t broken any laws or committed a crime and my choice of attire is pretty irrelevant - and basically who I choose to associate with is pretty much my free right as an individual. I don’t advocate it as something everyone should do but these folks are my friends. So you basically, if you are trying to change my behaviour, I’ve got news and it’s a big raised middle finger there guys.

The reason I suggest you find something better to do - is essentially your heavy-handed approach is essentially wasting your time and mine. You aren’t going to nab me for DUI because simply you won’t - I have a pretty strict regime and it means that even approaching the limit or being the slightest bit unsure means I won’t be pedalling - it ain’t because of you being there, it’s my personal ethical choice.

As for licence, registration and warrant - you are wasting your time there too. You can choose to have as a much a power trip as you want when you pull me over and perhaps I have developed a slightly surly attitude to you but you keep picking on someone who has a tertiary qualification in law.

You know what you can do and you should know that I do too. And just a reminder the next time you ask to search my car again - I will ask you again about the MOD so rest assured I will bury you in enough paperwork and an investigation with the PCA on race discrimination and harassment this time… I'm a patient bloke but I can wield the pen mightier than you want to know.

Surely with all the unsolved crime in Auckland you have better things to do?

Regards

Rep

[taranaki]

Succint and reasonable,Rep.Curious fact ,I have not been stopped for a 'random' for a very long time.Whichis surprising,because my car now bears the classic trademarks of a dodgy warrant...Dirt, primer and missing trim.There's no shortage of patrol cars on the daily grind to work and back,even on the midnight shift,but I seem to be plod-proof,invisible to the draconian eye of the law.Only once in recent history have I angered the guardians of our stupidity laws,coming out $150 lighter for failing to buckle my seatbelt.I don't drink,and I can't speed[ ],so they really don't trouble me.It is alarming however to realise that the local police station is unmanned at night and at weekends.Any emergencies are handled from the city station,20kms away.There are not enough police to cover local crime and vehicular revenue-gathering,so we have to just hope that burglars,rapists and murderers stick to office hours.As for the stereotyping,be grateful.There's a fair chance that if A bogan takes a shine to your car,it would be picked up before it was driven too far.

[Sierra Six]

There is a policy of two contacts per hour. If this is not adhered to, the constable gets a poor performance rating.

Blame Helen, not the Police. They would much rather be catching burglers and robbers than pulling people over, I mean thats a traffic cops job, not a police job. Traffic is not policing.

Which would bring me onto my rant about the merging of police and traffic, but I really cant be bothered.

[Jimster]

Fair enough replicant- I agree 100%- cops around here are more leniant as in they don't pull you over at random- but they are a pain in the ass when they do pull you over. I never have had problems with random pull-ups or breath testing (Unless at a road-block)

And it's suprising you get that sort of attitude from the cops in terms of your dress and car- I drove a previous model ST24 for a while- full bodykit and 18 inch wheels- not to mention an innocent young 24 year old- never really got a second look form the coppers

[replicant_008]

Kath thinks it's the combination of wearing a BMW.F1 Williams Cap, an AC Milan Football shirt and apparently looking like a 20 year old Asian Student.

She thinks if lost the cap and went to wearing cream polo shirts, a nice brown cardigan, some coke-bottle lenses in my glasses, had a nice barber cut and side parting in my hair and sticking a kiddie seat in the back with a baby on board tag in the rear window I will suddenly be invisible to the police.

As usual she's probably right but that wouldn't be me - just some conservative parody of me.

[Jimster]

Originally posted by replicant_008
Kath thinks it's the combination of wearing a BMW.F1 Williams Cap, an AC Milan Football shirt and apparently looking like a 20 year old Asian Student.

She thinks if lost the cap and went to wearing cream polo shirts, a nice brown cardigan, some coke-bottle lenses in my glasses, had a nice barber cut and side parting in my hair and sticking a kiddie seat in the back with a baby on board tag in the rear window I will suddenly be invisible to the police.

As usual she's probably right but that wouldn't be me - just some conservative parody of me.

Perhaps if you wore a Juventus shirt then perhaps the police would see you are a man with taste and leave you alone

[replicant_008]

Oh no another Juve fan... at least we won the Champions League

[Jimster]

Originally posted by replicant_008
Oh no another Juve fan... at least we won the Champions League

Of all the cheek



STFU n00b


Oh well we still start off the next Serie A as champs