Tangie's laugh o'the day

[speediva]

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on little Johnny.
He replies,"None, they all fly away with the first gun shot"
The teacher replies *"The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then Little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU.
There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and *sucked the cone"
To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on,... but I like your thinking."

[DVSNCYNIKL]

Look who's joining the comedy circuit now.

[SkylinesKillAll]

lol very good

[speediva]

Originally posted by DVSNCYNIKL
Look who's joining the comedy circuit now.

I was asked to by someone (sorry I forget your name, whomever you are... atleast I noticed your post!) to post a joke a day, and I decided I would inorder to keep down the anxiety about my forum...

[DVSNCYNIKL]

Okay, you still need to work on delivery, but that comes with time!

[Rich]

LOL!! :flash:

Originally posted by saturntangerine
I would inorder to keep down the anxiety about my forum...

Its working for me, and the jokes are very welcome, since the great jokemaster, Yogs has been letting us down

[Spec2 Girl]

lol, I like it, that's a goodie

[Tireburner]

Here are some more for the day:

MEN AND WOMEN COMPARED:

NICKNAMES: If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will
each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item because it was "on sale", even if she doesn't want it.

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, comb, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS: A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up only for weddings and funerals, and then only under duress.

NATURAL: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

[Tireburner]

I think this goes to the right place, try it, our administrator blocked access to the site

http://www.geocities.com/copper6500/homedepot.html


Let me know

[Rich]

Originally posted by Tireburner
I think this goes to the right place, try it, our administrator blocked access to the site

http://www.geocities.com/copper6500/homedepot.html


Let me know

Yep, it works. Man...some ppl are just dumb. I feel bad for the poor VW there, the thing is completly toasted

What will ppl try next?

[speediva]

Originally posted by HuMMerMan


Yep, it works. Man...some ppl are just dumb. I feel bad for the poor VW there, the thing is completly toasted

What will ppl try next?

Next they'll try it on a Kia Rio!

[DVSNCYNIKL]

Those people should be dragged out in a parking lot and shot.............with a bazooka!

[primera man]

Wheres yogs to add a laugh in here !!!! ...lol

[Twist]

Tireburner, that list is great. The bathroom items especially!

Tangy, keep up the goodwork. Your's isn't AS funny b/c I've heard it before!

[YogsVR4]

Heard these a long time ago, but its good to be reminded of them.