|
|
| Search | Car Forums | Gallery | Articles | Helper | Air Dried Fresh Beef Dog Food | IgorSushko.com | Corporate |
|
|||||||
| COMPLETELY off-topic Talk about anything other than cars. But you can't be mad and angry in this forum! |
![]() |
Show Printable Version |
Subscribe to this Thread
|
|
|
Thread Tools |
|
#1
|
||||
|
||||
|
Dildo
A certain married couple had a very healthy sex life. They had sex everyday; in the shower, on the kitchen counter, everywhere imaginable. In fact the wife was somewhat of a nymphomaniac.
One day the husband announced that he would be going on a week-long business trip. Deciding that she couldn't go the week without sex she decided to visit a sex shop after she dropped him off at the airport. She was looking at the selections of dildo's and could not find what she was looking for. She asked the man at the counter if he had anything really special. The man hesistated, looked around the shop, and took a deep breath, "I really shouldn't be showing you this, but you look like a very special lady." He took an old looking wooden box out from under the counter and removed the lid. As the woman looked inside she announced that it was just like any other in the store. The man said, "Ah, but you see, it most certainly is not! It is the voodoo penis and all you have to do is say "voodoo penis" and then where ever you want it to go." The man decided to demonstrate the powers of the "voodoo penis". He commanded, "VOODOO PENIS, THE DOOR!" The dildo rose from the box and began its work on the door. The door began to buckle and sway. Splinters of wood flew around the room. The man yelled, "Voodoo Penis, return to the box!" The woman was so impressed with it she bought it right away and took it straight home. The woman, excited to try it, undressed and commanded, "Voodoo Penis my crotch!" The penis went straight to pumping. After three mind-shattering orgasms, she decided that it was enough, only she had forgotten how to return it to the box. After tugging for what seemed like hours, she decided to drive to the hospital for help. She put her clothes back on and began to drive, quivering with each thrust of the dildo. After one intense orgasm she swerved all over the road. A policeman ,seeing this, pulled her over, and asked her if she had had something to drink. She replied that she had a voodoo penis stuck in her crotch and it would not stop screwing her. The policeman smiled and in an arrogant tone of voice said, "Voodoo Penis, My ASS!"
__________________
Formerly known as De$i Gank$ta ![]() Current Status:100% New Project:Audi Chop Currently Working On:Nothing Current Mods: Everythings done Link:Click Here |
|
#2
|
||||
|
||||
__________________
![]() 1989 NISSAN 240SX Fastback Turbo |
|
#3
|
||||
|
||||
|
Oz is my pal and I speak for him...
__________________
http://public.fotki.com/tonioseven/ |
|
#4
|
||||
|
||||
|
af's joke man very much done a
|
|
#5
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: Oz is my pal and I speak for him...
Quote:
__________________
Quote:
|
|
#6
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
-Brian 2013 Subaru BRZ Sport-Tech 6MT. Not stock. |
|
#7
|
||||
|
||||
|
yeah
|
|
#8
|
|||
|
|||
|
Think I heard that one about 23 years ago in kindergarten
|
|
#9
|
||||
|
||||
|
AF's Reposter
__________________
![]() |
|
#10
|
||||
|
||||
|
It's funny but it's a repost o lameo jokester
__________________
Check out my Pride and joy in AF- and discuss your favourite Alfa Romeo ![]() 2007 Audi A4 3.0 TDI Le Mans |
|
#11
|
||||
|
||||
|
The voodoo dick returns again! and again! and again! and again! and again!
__________________
Resistance Is Futile (If < 1ohm) |
|
#12
|
||||
|
||||
|
I first heard that joke at a scout Jamberee, that was over 15 years ago, and the joke was old even then.
__________________
Connecting the Auto Enthusiasts
|
|
#13
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
![]() |
POST REPLY TO THIS THREAD |
![]() |
|
|