Why women are cranky...

[tonioseven]

Why Women Are Cranky

We start to bud in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption that boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs.



Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens or sooner. Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had. Our next little rite of passage, premarital or not, is having s ex for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod pushed into your uterus through your nostrils. (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse, leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.)


Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are, and we are, we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby. Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee our pants every time we sneeze. When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in pa in all the way to the ER. Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. In-Labor. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10 more) good push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the asshole (and husband) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb. bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all that cute wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines. The teen years... Need I say more?


The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid 30's to early 40's while husband had his somewhere around his 18th birthday (which just happens to be the reason all that early hot man sex got you pregnant in the first place).
Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.


Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks?

I love being a woman (call me crazy) but "Womanhood" would even make the Great Gandhi more spiteful!!! And they say women are the "weaker sex". HA!
At least we can still pee in the woods without getting our socks wet!
Here's Tonio getting "an explanation" from his wife=

[turbo2nr]

cliffnotes please

[Oz]

Originally posted by tonioseven
warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the asshole (and husband) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb. bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all that cute wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines. The teen years... Need I say more?

LOVE IT.

[Haibane]

And watching tv last night... I saw some website, which I dare not visit... Understanding women better at www.mum.org

[YogsVR4]

Don't let my wife see this. No freebee excuses for her to use please

[carnutcass]

Dammit...............if she hadn't been fawking around, typing shit no one wants to read, my turkey pot pie wouldn't still be thawing on the counter. C'mon, less talk, more work! Chop chop

[Sean]

Originally posted by carnutcass
Dammit...............if she hadn't been fawking around, typing shit no one wants to read, my turkey pot pie wouldn't still be thawing on the counter. C'mon, less talk, more work! Chop chop

Every woman on this board-> <- carnutcass

[SentraGirl]

That was awesome and so very true, insightful!

[carnutcass]

Originally posted by carnutcass
Dammit...............if she hadn't been fawking around, typing shit no one wants to read, my turkey pot pie wouldn't still be thawing on the counter. C'mon, less talk, more work! Chop chop

I would like to quote the late, great Tony Montana from the movie Scarface:

"I wassss only kidding!"

[KatWoman]

I think I will print this and give it to Alex next time I have a cranky day

[speediva]

Kat, forget printing... I want this TATTOOED on my back so I have access to it day and night. THEN, when I get old and gross, I have yet another reason to complain.

[Oz]

Originally posted by saturntangerine
Kat, forget printing... I want this TATTOOED on my back so I have access to it day and night. THEN, when I get old and gross, I have yet another reason to complain.

Whinger! But I'll tattoo it for you

[TheNotoriousMogg]

it's a gene thats why they are cranky

[primera man]

COPY
PASTE
Sent to Mrs Holmes

[shadowboy]

forgot about one thing.

men have to deal with the consequences of all that. women cant suck it up & deal with it, so they have to project the misery on to us. hence the perception of crankiness. so men have to endure it anyway.