Some funnies

[Oz]

Due to a power outage at the time, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn, a 3-year-old girl, to stand on a chair & hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.

The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Katelyn quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Smack him again".

---

There are only ten times in history when the "F" word has been
acceptable for use:

10. "What the fuck was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945

9. "Look at all them fucking Indians!" - Custer, 1877

8. "Any fucking idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938

7. "It does so fucking look like her!" - Picasso, 1926

6. "How the fuck did you work that out?" - Pythagorus, 126 BC

5. "You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566

4. "Where the fuck are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937

3. "Scattered fucking showers....My ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC

2. "Aw c'mon. Who the fuck's going to find out?"- Bill Clinton,1999

And number 1 . . .

1. "Shit , I didn't think they'd get this fucking mad." - Osama bin
Laden,
2001

[tonioseven]

Fuckin' funny!!!

[suzymatt]

fuckin great!

[drklver]

OZ, you are the fuckin master!!!

[YogsVR4]

Thats more like it OZ! :hehehe:

[BigJustinZ28]

fuckin hilarious , smack me again !!!

[90CorollaSR5]

Haha, the second one is hilarious.

[sidewinder69]

W3RD the second bunch of jokes is a lot funnier than the first.

Lat.......DAMNIT~!!!!!

[Gafoto]

Good work oz :hehehe:

Lat.......DAMNIT~!!!!!

At least TRY to break the habit...

[grimmy]

now that was funny


laters!

hehehehehe

[Marc04]

those are really funny

here are a few more



Gay Gene Isolated, Ostracized
BALTIMORE—On Friday, scientists at Johns Hopkins University isolated the gene which causes homosexuality in human males, promptly separating it from normal, heterosexual genes. "I had suspected that gene was queer for a long time now. There was just something not quite right about it," team leader Dr. Norbert Reynolds said. "It's a good thing we isolated it—I wouldn't want that faggot-ass gene messing with the straight ones." Among the factors Reynolds cited as evidence of the gene's gayness were its pinkish hue, meticulously frilly perimeter, and faint but distinct perfume-like odor.

=Shit Parking Ticket Fuck
FUCKIN’ DOWNTOWN—After stopping for like 10 goddamn minutes at the west-side post office, local resident Dave Shore got a motherfucking parking ticket in the amount of 35 fucking goddamn dollars Monday, fuck. Where were the goddamn cops when the dude stole the hubcaps off of Shore’s light brown 1992 Escort last year, the 27-year-old line cook would reportedly like to fucking know. The ticket, which Shore will have to work five whole fucking hours at his shitty fucking job just to pay, was placed on his vehicle by the asshole fucking Nazi parking patrol shortly after noon. Jesus fuck.