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| COMPLETELY off-topic Talk about anything other than cars. But you can't be mad and angry in this forum! |
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#1
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Have a laugh
A few oldies maybe !!
A newly married couple returned to their house after being on honeymoon. 'Care to go upstairs and have a shag?' the husband asks. 'Shhh!' said the bride.'All the neighbours will know what we're about to do. These walls are paper-thin. In the future, we'll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking, "Have you left the washing machine door open" instead?' So the following night, the husband asks,'I don't suppose you left the washing machine door open did you?' 'No, I definitely shut it,replied the wife who rolled over and went to sleep. When she woke up, however, she was feeling a little randy herself and she nudged her husband and said, 'I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all. Would you like to do some washing?' 'No thanks,' said the husband, 'it was only a small load and I've done it by hand.' Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh...she got fired too." One day, a father and his son were walking in the woods on their way home when suddenly they came upon two dogs mating in the brush. "What are they doing, Dad?" asked the small child, staring intently at the scene before them. "They, um, they're making a puppy" said the boy's father, as he grabbed his coat and moved him along quickly. A few nights later, the little boy woke up and got up from his bed to go to the bathroom. As he walked by his parents' room, he heard strange noises coming from within. He opened the door and was surprised to see his father on top of his mother, moving in a strange way. His father looked up and saw his son - instantly, both mother and father froze. As the boy's mother grabbed for the sheets to cover herself up, the father got up and hustled his son out of the bedroom. "What were you doing to Mom, Dad?" asked the little boy, who still wasn't sure what he saw. "Your mother and I were, well, we were, ah, trying to make a baby - you know, maybe a brother or sister for you" said the boy's father now confident that this would satisfy his son's curiosity. "Oh" said the little boy, thinking hard for a minute. "Y'know Dad, when you go back to bed with mom, turn her over, please - I'd rather have a puppy".
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#2
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..... AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH @ BOTH OF THEM
OMG LOL ROFFLEMAYO
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#3
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Quote:
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#4
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Quote:
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#5
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HAHAHA those were great a good laught b4 work ends :hehe:
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"Fear is the path to the Dark Side..., Fear leads to Anger, Anger leads to Hate, Hate leads to Suffering…" -Yoda |
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#6
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:hehehe: Good ones
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Resistance Is Futile (If < 1ohm) |
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#7
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Haha those were hilarious. :hehehe:
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-Joshua |
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#8
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ahh yes, i ment all three..
as for rofflemayo, try sounding out roflmao
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