The Truth About Chuck Norris

[imtheoneandonlyD]

Lol, the mr t ones are pretty good.

[KatWoman097]

I got this in an email this a.m....a few may be repeats:

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his
soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris
smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck
Norris

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and
includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and
saying "booya".

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the
first45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck
Norris can kill him and take it.

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that
Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

[Gohan Ryu]

Originally Posted by KatWoman097

....a few may be repeats:

All of them are repeats...

[KatWoman097]

Originally Posted by Gohan Ryu

All of them are repeats...

Well hell I got the email and saw this thread at work and tried to skim thru quickly so I could get back to my pile of projects. <sigh>

[Gotti]

I got another one.....


What did Chuck Norris do when he fought Bruce Lee?


He died








(atleast thats what i remember from Return of The Dragon)

lol what do u think of your big tough chuck norris now!!

[vinnym86]

Originally Posted by Gotti

I got another one.....


What did Chuck Norris do when he fought Bruce Lee?


He died.....




(atleast thats what i remember from Return of The Dragon)

lol what do u think of your chuck norris now!!

... fucking chuck norris.

[Gohan Ryu]

Originally Posted by Gotti

I got another one.....


What did Chuck Norris do when he fought Bruce Lee?


He died








(atleast thats what i remember from Return of The Dragon)

lol what do u think of your big tough chuck norris now!!

Well have you ever had your chest hair pulled like that? It fucking hurts to death.

[Cyprus106]

i have stumbled upon a hidden collection of jokes not referring to anyone's momma, middle-easterners, deceased babies, those of african decent, or women with a certain hair color...but to the star of an obscure show about a texas ranger that has received cult status by widowed shut-ins everywhere. Interesting, and yet chilling.

I didn't have time to read all 6 pages so sorry if this one already came up

Chuck norris eats babies and shits delta force team members

aren't these all from like www.3g.com?