The official nice guy thread.

[Cbass]

I've always been a nice guy I guess... but I'm different from most in that I'm EEEVVIIILLL!!! :hehehe:

Simple habits... you don't have to BE any particular way, you just have to SEEM a particular way. Look, by the time anyone really knows you well enough to see past their first impressions and initial impressions, they either want you or they don't. There are exceptions to this, from time to time, but this is the general rule. It's a hit or miss kind of thing.

You can't really make a clearcut distinction between nice guy and asshole... Me for example, if you ask a hundred people who know me, you'll get a few VERY different opinions about what kind of guy I am. It's just a matter of what sort of person you appear to be to them.

Now every woman is different, and you can't expect one personality to appeal to all of them, so there are a few rules of thumb to stick to.

It's better to be a bit distant, and maybe a bit of an jerk, than to be overly sappy and clingy. Women absolutely hate that, unless it's reciprocated.

Humour, it's essential. If she doesn't understand your sense of humour, how likely is the relationship to succeed? Be yourself, make a few jokes... just consider them carefully and make sure they're funny

Do not, under any circumstance, give her the impression you need her. This is death. By "needing" her, you give her all the power, and as much as I'm about to get flamed for this, most women like to a large extent a guy who is going to be the dominant partner. It's how our society is, patriarchical.

Flame away

[Jay!]

Originally posted by Self
Ahh people, I can see not many, if ANY of you have read the LADDER yet. If you know what's good for you, READ IT NOW!! Here ya go...
http://intellectualwhores.com/ladderintro.html
It's kinda lengthy, but after you're done, you will be ENLIGHTENED to say the least! Also, I don't necessarily agree with the views of the Ladder, but even I admit it does make a sort of weird sense...

HOLY GOAT BALLS!!! Where was that when I was in High School? :cry:

Originally posted by Heep
Nope, I've got the plan.

Stay single and load up on the cash, buy whatever you want without a woman to talk you out of it or yell at you for it, then, by the time you feel you really need a woman, the women your age have figured out they want a nice guy, especially if he has money too. You currently have both, and you get the woman

Super-pimp! :smoka:

[SilverLotus340R]

i dont have as much dating experiance as most you of here..but i can agree with everyone here...that nice guys *mostly* finish last. i mean i had a girlfriend for a year and a half and we were inseperable, there was no sex or whatever involved so it wasnt like we had to worry about all that emotional shit attached to that when we broke up. but when we did break up it was holy hell because i got trampled. i worked to hard to make it work i think. i bought her tons and tons of shit. i kind of regret it now cuz she treats me like crap now and she seems more interested in the assholes in school that think a girl is a piece of jewelry and will walk around like they are the shit with a girl on their arm. or the assholes that wont buy a girl anything and will treat them like shit...

They'll date jerks who'll cheat on em', never buy them anything , never want to spend any time witn em', be rude to em'. etc...

tru ta that

[slave]

Us (can I say that?) nice guys, dont always finish last at all. Just get a DECENT girl, so the others look good and have all the cool friends, the ones like that from my school are now un-employed etc. I dated some mad girls, like really awesome ones, and I was nothing but nice to them, you just gotta find the girls who appreciate things as you do.

[Jay!]

Of course, we're a biased group... Since we're all dorks already. :o

[-The Stig-]

Originally posted by jay@af
Of course, we're a biased group... Since we're all dorks already. :o

Hey speak for yourself!!!...


*looks at post count... and thinks about the time he's spent online in general...*


wait you speak the truth ... i need a beer.

[speediva]

Nice guys don't finish last. They just get a REALLY lousy start.

[ci5ic]

Here's my opinion for what it's worth:

Don't sweat the women... If they don't value your qualities then they aren't worth your time...

Don't change who you are just to get noticed by them, because then you're not yourself, and living a lie never lasts long.

Stick it out, and eventually, you will find someone who loves you for being yourself, and they will appreciate the qualities that other women over-looked...

[darkness]

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
No, just go out with a girl that's a bit older that's already been through the jerk phase. I grew out of it at about 21.

yeah well how long do we have to bloody well wait.

I'm getting sick of being nice all the time.

[Chris]

Well, I fit into the nice guy category. So, never much luck with the girls. Still, I seem to have one now, which is good.
I think a good method to not get knocked into the friend category is to make sexual jokes implying the girl, that way, they here you talking about them in a sexual manner. This can help to slowly turn you into boy friend material.

Still, ive noticed that all of the assholes, who have no respect of woman, seem to get them. They give them almost nothing except crap, it makes me mad

[Jay!]

My advice, in hindsight, for guys in the 'intellectual whore' position:

Work on yourself, for yourself. Self-loathing and pity buys you nothing.

This is not meant to be patronizing to those currently in the 'intellectual whore' role, but is my honest advice, and what I wish I had spent my time and energy on when I was in that position. I have to say that the 'Ladder Theory,' explained as such, applies to me perfectly throughout my life. (:o)

Guys: Find ways to improve yourself; make yourself the person you want to be. Figure out what you like, what you're good at, and excel at it. Let everything else come second (that's what priorities are about ), including "serious relationships." The investment in yourself will pay off ten-fold.

The advantages are these:[list=1][*]You keep what you gain. Your advancements in your skills, job, athletic ability, etc are yours to keep and use. (Not like throwing your time and money at a relationship that will disolve as soon as she realizes you're 'just a friend.')
[*]You will have more 'money/power,' or at least more potential to gain 'money/power,' as defined in the Ladder Theory. (This makes you more attractive to the laidies. (But you're still ignoring them, remember? :o) )
[*]In the meantime, it will make you more 'aloof.' (See again: attraction; sub-point "Competition")[/list=1]

[DISCLAIMER: This doesn't mean excel at playing Street Fighter while failing school. ]

Laidies: [channel_repressed_teen_angst]Please, for pete's sake, tell us honestly where we stand. Because seriously, we have no idea. Ever. And we will ruin friendships because of it. Period.

Oh yeah, and don't date the jerks! [/channel_repressed_teen_angst]

[DISCLAIMER_pt2: My point to the laidies is somewhat out of context addressing the types of laidies who would be on an automotive forum in the first place. So just tell your friends. (If you have any friends who are girls! :o) ]




But then, you'll soon be complaining that there's no place to meet chicks....

[darkness]

Originally posted by jay@af
[DISCLAIMER_pt2: My point to the laidies is somewhat out of context addressing the types of laidies who would be on an automotive forum in the first place. So just tell your friends. (If you have any friends who are girls! :o) ]

But then, you'll soon be complaining that there's no place to meet chicks.... [/b]

There are plenty of great chicks on AF. They are just all thousands of miles away

[Heep]

What Jay said already applies to me...while I love women, want to be married someday, etc etc, I really do not want a girlfriend right now. I'd rather spend my time achieveing my goals, improving myself, getting what I want and doing what I want. Once I'm settled, by that time, according to the Ladder, I'll be far more attractive, AND women my age will have gotten past the jerk stage. I'm all too happy to be single right now

[Twist]

Thanks for all the posts guys. They've helped me come to some conclusions that otherwise would have taken longer.

For the record, I don't agree with Harry and the Ladder site on one point (or one point that I'll discuss now). I do think a man and a woman can be friends and leave it at just that. These situations are admittedly rare (especially after marriage), but they are there. I have several friends (close ones, too) that are women, and I don't want to date all of them. I admit I'd like to date a few, but the majority are women with whom I genuinely like as friends and would prefer to keep it that way.

[note: i switched "want to have sex with" and "want to date" because I don't get into relationships for the sex. I'm looking for a wife and I'm a Christian, so no sex until marriage.]

[Heep]

Originally posted by Twist
[note: i switched "want to have sex with" and "want to date" because I don't get into relationships for the sex. I'm looking for a wife and I'm a Christian, so no sex until marriage.]

Amen bro