The Official Joke Thread

[FireBball972]

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Psalm 129." The priest apologized. "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up Psalm 129. It read, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

and


An attractive blonde and a handsome man step into the same elevator. The blonde sighs happily and says 'TGIF', and is surprised when the man replies 'SHIT'. The blonde thinks perhaps he didn't hear her correctly, so she repeats it once again: 'TGIF!' and once again the man replies 'S H I T'. Finally, the blonde explains 'Sir, TGIF - Thank God it's Friday!' Stepping out of the elevator, the man smirks and says 'S H I T - Sorry honey, it's Thursday.'

[pikkagtr]

three friends went rock climbing and got to the top the moutain
as they set to ascend from the top they had an encounter with an angel
she tells them that she will be able to grant them anything they wish as long as they have faith
she explains further that if they jump off the side of the mountain, and yell out what it is that they want, it will come true
they were skeptical at first but decided to give it a try
the first guy tkaes a run an jumps off and yells " I wanna be a Billionaire! "
***POOF***
he becomes a billionaire
The second guy becomes very excited and runs and jumps right off and yells: " I wanna be the richest ma on earth! "
***POOF***
He becomes the richest man on earth!
Not to be outdone the last guy thinks about it for w few seconds
" I should find something even better to wish for than the other two guys " he thinks to himself...
he's got it!
he takes a few steps back making sure he'll be able to clear the jump
he runs straight for the edge and suddenly trips over a branch falling over the edge....as he's right about to fall he yells: ...." SH*T!!! "
***POOF***......

[Oz]

How about a parachute to enjoy it?